Release Me
by OnaTorre
Summary: Hikaru & Kaoru have parted ways, Hikaru traveling to become an artist and Kaoru studying in Japan and working at an adult Host Club. Yet their connection still runs deep. They begin to have strange hallucinations.So what of these twins demons? Angst,Dark
1. Prologue: Arrivederci, Bella

_**Summary: When Hikaru and Kaoru are forced to leave high school and attend collage, they are separated from one another. Hikaru attends an arts school and Kaoru decides to stay in Japan and employ at an adult host club. After three years of a lost connection, Hikaru and Kaoru begin to hear thoughts and feel feelings that aren't their own. They soon realize that they are feeling each other's feelings. In order for them to figure out this strange mystery, their broken relationship will have to be rekindled. **_

_**Release Me**_

**I'd like to dedicate this to my Beta PhantomKino. Wouldn't be anywhere without you. Thanks. Hope you enjoy. **

**Disclaimer: O, how I wish I owned such genius. I do not own this anime, nor characters.**

Prologue: Arrivederci, Bella

The tender spring wind warmed Hikaru's skin as he painted on a blank canvas in the field behind his home. His bare feet dug into the blanket he'd laid there, rubbing against the few strands of grass that fought their way through the stitches of the blanket. He took a large soft-tipped brush and placed it in crimson paint before gingerly stroking it along the canvas. Hikaru glanced at the sky enjoying the silence of the afternoon. The fires that rose around the sun when it began to set turned to its normal purple haze before turning to night.

"It's been a while since I've seen you paint, _Nii-sama_," said an all too familiar voice from beyond Hikaru's sightline. He felt a dangerous smirk tug at his lips with the use of his nickname.

"It's been a while since you've seen me do a lot of things Kao- _chan_" The dangerous smirk succeeded to place itself on Hikaru's lips as he slowly spoke his brother's nickname. Hikaru pushed against the blanket with his knees, preparing to stand when creamy white fingers managed to push him down on his back.

A dark shade covered his brother's face as he spoke simple words. "We should watch the day turn to night together while we're here." Hikaru could hear the smile in Kaoru's voice as he spoke and it immediately onset a devious grin.

"Seeing the position I'm in, can I really say no?" Hikaru asked letting his eyes roll over Kaoru's figure.

"Hm, I guess not," Kaoru whispered, placing his idle hand in Hikaru's and leaving his other laying blatantly on Hikaru's chest. This small movement wiped the smug look off Hikaru's features, replacing it with a look of admiration. Kaoru caught this shift in expression and smiled warmly, pressing his lips against Hikaru's forehead. He leaned his body into Hikaru's and let his head fall into the crook of his neck. Hikaru let his arms wrap around Kaoru in a soft embrace while they gazed up at the afternoon sky during its transfiguration into night.

After a moment of comfortable silence, Hikaru sighed softly and softly spoke a simple string of words.

"I'm going to Italy, Kaoru."

Kaoru tensed, almost denying the words he had heard because of the soft whisper in which they were spoken. Kaoru lifted from Hikaru's embrace and sat up in the grass, his back to Hikaru's face. He wrapped his arms around his knees, uncomfortable from the moment he sat up.

"Why Italy? Why not stay here?" _With me_, he added mentally, but did not speak. He turned his face toward Hikaru, his profile faintly outlined by the dying sunlight.

Hikaru chose his words carefully, trying with little hope to avoid a horrible, melancholy predicament. "I would love to stay here with you Kaoru; you know that…"

"—but," Kaoru interjected, hating that Hikaru had the ability to read his every thought.

"But…" Hikaru began, knowing there was no easy way of saying this. "Art is a passion of mine, Kaoru. I have to at least try and pursue it. You were there when I received the acceptance letter from the arts university in Italy." Hikaru stopped, unsure of what to say next, despising his incompetence with words when conveying messages to his brother.

The silence between the two siblings was tense, making the sunlight that disappeared from their region of the earth almost reluctant to leave. The night swallowed their figures, making it near impossible for them to see one another, although neither one of them dared to move.

Kaoru stood first and turned toward the area where Hikaru's figure was once again visible. He could barely distinguish Hikaru's silhouette—tense, rigid, overwhelmed with contemplations—in the darkness. Kaoru sighed, running his hand through his auburn hair. He gazed at Hikaru's shadow, hoping to catch his eyes in the darkness. He succeeded, noticing Hikaru's shadow move slightly.

"I'm happy for you, Hikaru. I always have been. If pursuing your dream means leaving, then so be it." With that, Kaoru walked down the hill and back into the Hitachiin residence without another glance.

Hikaru could hear the obvious hurt in Kaoru's voice as the world around him crashed. The two would be separated like they never had before. Hikaru hummed a sad tune as he retrieved his unfinished painting from the ground. He followed the Kaoru's back into the house.

The two siblings slept in separate beds that night.


	2. Chapter 1

**Again, this goes to my beta Phantom Kino. Thank you so much.**

**Italian translation: Isn't he missing me?**

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own this anime nor characters or place, except for my own OC. Also, I do not own the script of Paprika in which I use at the beginning of a certain scene.**

Chapter 1: Non é lui que mancha?

"I must say I'm flattered by your request."

"Well, it was the only course of action if I wanted you all to myself."

"Hm, how aggressive. I'm enjoying your assertiveness. I think I wouldn't mind having you as my private customer, Mai."

Mai smirked as her sustained ego was fed by the dark-dressed gentlemen. She crossed her legs tightly and leaned her left shoulder a bit lower than her right to extend herself farther out in the open. She placed her right hand underneath her chin draping her slender fingers over her cheek, barely toughing her bottom lip.

"_Kaoru_, stop throwing compliments my way. I know that's what you usually do with the other… customers, but please, spare the flattery with me. I'm actually interested in getting to know the true Kaoru Hitachiin." Mai raised her eyebrows for emphasis and reached out an arm, placing it daringly on Kaoru's thigh. Her painted lips raised into a smile, looking almost genuine to Kaoru's eyes.

Kaoru glanced at her hand rested on his thigh quickly before returning his attention towards her face. She had chiseled features; although, from afar, she seemed common, merely common. Now Kaoru could really see her face, and it was magnificent. Aside from her beauty, he wasn't sure what to think of this woman sitting before him. He had seen her with other hosts; however, she always seemed oddly distant from her reality. Maybe that is the reason she requested him. He would always and forever be distant from his reality.

"You are right, Kaoru. I did request you for such… lonely reasons. All of the moments that I've seen you, you smile and say beautiful words to your hosts, but neither your eyes nor your heart is there." She paused and sighed slowly, but Kaoru decided not to interrupt her. "I suppose people could say the same about me." She smiled warmly, removing her hand from Kaoru's leg, replacing it with a glass of red wine, shaking in circles throughout the glass.

Kaoru was baffled, but also appreciated the honesty of the woman before him. He smiled as well, truly smiled. Nothing was fake. Nothing was plastic. It was warm and welcoming.

"You have truly amazed me in this short time that I've had the pleasure of your acquaintance. I must know, Mai; how did you read my mind?"

Mai chuckled lightly taking a sip of her wine, her lipstick leaving no stain. She spun the glass around in her hands as she sighed, "It's all in the eyes, Kaoru. You have such deep, captivating eyes that are hard to ignore when they're sad or filled with contemplations."

Kaoru smirked, crossing his legs. "I guess I could say the same for you, Mai." Kaoru honestly hadn't felt this mischievous ever since Hikaru left. He had yet to find someone who didn't mind playing games and engaging in roguish wordplay. He felt drawn to this woman sitting before him, her eyes searching his. A gray slither that worked its way through his system, through his body, through his mind. He could almost see the depths of her, so very similar to his own. Wasn't it opposites that supposedly attracted?

Mai and Kaoru sat for a moment; a blissful sixty seconds engaged in ruthful hide and seek through their eyes. There were hills and caverns around them, dark and ignorant trees with holes throughout them to help than hear the exchange of mind. Blades of grass blithered in the wind and hoped to be picked up by the wind. A field was set for them, ablaze with blue fire that meshed the very—

A knock at the door.

Kaoru was the first to lift his eyes, his gaze flickering over to the door of the private room. He let out a soft sigh and smiled at Mai. She kindly returned the gesture, nodding her head as if to give him permission.

"Yes?" Kaoru breathed, running a hand through his auburn hair. He recalled how Hikaru's hair felt the same way the last time he had touched it. He cursed himself inwardly for choosing this time to remember such a thing. Kyoya's persuasive drawl broke him from his thoughts.

"Mai, I offer my deepest apologies, but I need to inform you that your time with Kaoru must come to an end."

Kaoru smirked. Always like Kyoya to be so formal.

Mai caught his smile and rolled her eyes at the door, causing Kaoru to quietly laugh. Mai stood then and gracefully walked to the door, her back looking radiant in the dim light of the room. She slowly opened the door to reveal the smug face of a slightly aged Kyoya. His round glasses were drawn to his nose as usual, although his hair had grown out a bit. Strands of jet black hair fell across his face, giving his soft features a more distinct look. He was still tall, dark, and even more handsome.

Kaoru laughed to himself. We were all quite good looking high school boys, he thought. But we are all better looking men.

"I see you two have become quite well-acquainted," Kyoya drawled. Kaoru could hear the evident amusement in his voice. Kyoya raised a perfectly lined eyebrow and stepped into the room.

"May I be expecting your presence again soon, Mai?" he asked, whilst sliding his hand into his jacket pocket, only to reveal a small, black book and pen.

Mai smiled, flicking her eyes to Kaoru's, searched for the answer to the question. She met gazes with Kyoya moments later and her lips stretched into a smile that Kaoru could only recognize as pompous.

"Well Mr. _Ootori_, if it is to Kaoru's satisfaction, then I would like to have a private hosting twice a month, every month, on the first and third Wednesday for two hours. I hope that won't be an issue?" She turned to Kaoru and raised an eyebrow in mockery when she noticed the blood rushing to his cheeks. He coughed lightly and stood, walking toward Mai. He took her hand boldly and drew it to his mouth, letting his hot breath flow onto her hands.

"It would be my pleasure, Mai." He sighed as he gently pressed his lips against her knuckles, never pulling his gaze from hers.

* * *

><p>"Please, come. Have a drink with me."<p>

"Are you sure? What about closing?"

"It's quite alright. We've been friends for some time now, and I know when a friend needs a drink."

"But I… I really do need a drink. Thank you for offering, Kyoya." Kaoru sighed, defeated. Kyoya smiled and gestured for Kaoru to follow him into his office. He complied.

"It is but a pleasure of mine, Kaoru."

Kyoya took long, graceful strides into his large office space as Kaoru followed. The room was magnificent, but Kaoru was not in the least bit surprised. He breathed in and found that the smell of the room was pleasant, like the smell an old book would give when one's fingers slid through the ruffled pages. Kaoru smiled, enjoying the peace of the evening as the sun lit another side of the earth and night swept across Japan. The room had an abundance of large windows, giving the onlooker a view of the blurring lights and masses of people that made up Tokyo.

"Here."

Kaoru looked to his left to see Kyoya holding a glass of a brown liquid, outstretched toward him. He took the glass with pleasure and enjoyed the its weight between his fingers. Kyoya's lips stretched into a smile, an anomaly that brought a sigh of joyful relief to Kaoru. Kyoya turned his face toward the windows and walked toward them, taking each step slow. Kaoru soon joined his side. A few, blissful moments of silence fell between them as they stared into the night sky and let their hands pour smooth liquid down their throats. A warm, satisfying feeling settled in their stomachs, something neither one of them wanted to forget.

"Tell me what's on your mind, Kaoru."

Kaoru set his eyes upon one of the sparkling lights that dangled in the sky and stepped a bit closer to the window.

"I'm just… not used to the change yet," he muttered, staring aimlessly at the star. He could hear Kyoya's soft breathing behind him, and it comforted him a bit.

"What change, Kaoru?" Kyoya asked, already knowing the answer to the question.

Brief silence stood between them for a momen's time before Kaoru finally spoke.

"The fact that Hikaru… is not by my side." His voice was strong and sound at first, but by the end of his statement his voice had drowned into a poignant intonation. He had never truly said why he was uncomfortable, why he was so sad. It was a revelation that burned the very skin that surrounded his flesh and bone.

Kaoru felt the soft, slender hands of Kyoya grip his right shoulder gently in consolation. A sad smile tugged at Kaoru's lips and he sighed, the sound filled with melancholy rhythm. It was possibly one of the most depressing sounds Kyoya had ever heard.

"I always knew that this... separation… would eventually happen, Kaoru. I knew that as you matured, both you and Hikaru would have to spend times apart." Kyoya paused, searching for the right words to say. This was one of the few moments that defined his character as a human being. He was never one to vacate without a perfect score. "And I must have faith that the brotherhood—"

"Brotherhood! It's been _three_ years, and you—you call this a... a brotherhood." His voice had slowly turned to a murmur of silent cries, whispers that cried out to his heart and soul. He was broken, utterly broken.

Kyoya stared at the reflection of Kaoru's pale face on the window, yearning to give the young man that stood before him a bit of faith.

The source of light that was the subject of Kaoru's discontented glare illuminated light a bit brighter than the others, outshining the rest. It glinted in spastic patterns, as if it was laughing. Laughing at Kaoru's pitiful display of pain, of love. It laughed and giggled playfully, pointed a decrepit finger down at Kaoru. Smiling. Such a crude, smug smile...

And then it was gone. Just like that. Dead. Like a struggling firefly that finally gave up hope.

Kaoru stared at the dark spot where the star had been, its image stuck in his mind. And for the first time in his adult life…

…Kaoru Hitachiin dropped to his knees and cried.

* * *

><p>"I wonder where the parade was going?"<p>

"A place of no return, most likely."

"I felt like I was really close... to controlling the entire world."

"That was a dream."

Animated figures moved flawlessly upon the screen which Kaoru was barely staring at, barely listening to. His senses were unavailable and distant to him; his eyes were still burning with tears, blurring his vision, and his hands were shaking uncontrollably. He had given up trying to stop the discomfort.

He heard a ruffling noise coming from upstairs, in the vicinity of the kitchen. He barely paid attention to the noise. Then Kyoya appeared at the top of the stairs that led down to the parlor area where Kaoru lounged. Kyoya started down the stairs, long strides as usual, and before Kaoru could acknowledge Kyoya's presence, his senses were overwhelmed with the soothing aroma of green tea. He looked up, only to find Kyoya smiling, holding a mug of a warm liquid before him.

"I thought a bit of Sencha might clear your mind, help you sleep. I know it is of your admired teas." Kyoya whispered slipping the tea into Kaoru's shaking fingers. The warmth of the mug slowed Kaoru's heart, and his hands slowly subsided to shake.

Kaoru took slow, lingering sips of the tea, enjoying the sting of the liquid on his tongue. He felt his body relax, and his mind begin to slow. The pull of a sound sleep tugged at his brow, giving his eyelids a heavy feeling. He was so overwhelmed by this sleepy sensation that he was reluctant to notice Kyoya's figure still standing before him. Kyoya smiled, taking the mug from Kaoru's hands and placing it on the floor next to him, diminishing all ideas of proper behavior. He sat on the floor, next to the mug, and listened to the sound of Kaoru embracing sleep, whispering to himself.

"'And by a sleep to say we end the heartache... To die, to sleep… To sleep, perchance to dream…'"

Kaoru wasn't familiar with dreams; they came and went. Only in times of immense stress or discomfort did they appear. But when he did dream, he wasn't conscious. They weren't lucid, so the conscious feeling of dreaming was foreign in Kaoru's mind. Although the dream in which he was currently immersed wasn't necessarily lucid, nor completely unconscious. It was somewhere in between.

_There was a deep darkness that stung Kaoru's sight, forcing itself upon him. It wasn't the type of darkness that one could see when closing his eyes, but the type of darkness that held no weight, no depth, nothing._

_Although Kaoru had lost his sense of sight, he could feel and hear his surroundings. He had fallen asleep upon the soft couch in his home's parlor; he could feel the gentle touch of the cashmere blanket wrapped tightly around his body. He heard the faint sound of a sleepy moan and remembered Kyoya was with him. Kaoru desperately tried to lift the thin membrane of skin that fell over his eyes, but it was almost as if some other worldly force was keeping his eyes from opening._

_Then he felt it._

_Long, slender fingers trailing patterns along his back, inching closer and closer around his body. Ten fingers licked gently at his skin, five along his shoulder blade and five along his waist. Kaoru was cringing, shaking at the touch. He felt a body, slightly larger than his own press against his with soft force. Devoid of compassion, overridden with possession. He felt the body tighten its hold around him, pressing its cold flesh up against his own._

_Kaoru shivered, and he could barely hear the faint sound of a distant chuckle slowly slithering its way toward his ears. He could feel his lips opening, and he could feel the dry sensation spreading through the cavern of his mouth. But he couldn't hear the scream that he so anxiously tried to free from the pit of his stomach._

_The sudden sensation of something warm breaking through the skin of his ear, trickling down the crook of his neck had Kaoru's heart beating in a paroxysmal rhythm. The thing's heated breath panted quietly, and Kaoru could hear the amusement hidden in its gentle breaths. Kaoru fell still as the body leaned over his, pressing cold lips to the outskirts of his ear. It whispered idly, things Kaoru could not understand, but as the whispering became louder, Kaoru thrashed about as the figure's words became clear. Clear in a voice that made Kaoru's screams finally become audible._

"_I am lost, Kaoru. Come to me."_

_Hikaru's voice echoed into his ears, until the sun decided to invade the darkness over Japan._

**A/N: _There is a lovely exert from Hamlet by Shakespeare in this first chapter I'd like to acknowledge. It is by far one of my favorite Shakespearean quotes. I hope you enjoyed. Hopefully, I'll have the second chapter posted next week. _**

**_Ona_**


	3. Chapter 2

_**Good day, readers**_

_** I apologize for the delay on chapter updating. Summer is finally here, so I will be updating like wildfire. I've decided my update date to be on WEDNESDAY or FRIDAY. If I feel like updating early than Wednesday, if not Friday. If not ever, then something has gone terribly wrong. **_

_**Before I move on with the story, I'd like to thank Victoria62015 for the first review. I am so grateful and hopefully I will keep you curious until the end. Also, thanks to Melody Syper Carston as well for the review. **_

_** Thank you PhantomKino for betaing me!**_

_** Also, I'm completely open to critical reviews and/or suggestions. I get a lot of inspiration from music, so musical requests are always welcome as well. I know there are many artists out there and art is greatly appreciated. **_

_** Disclaimer: I do not own this anime, nor characters except my own OC. **_

_** Italian translation: I'm bored of keeping disciplined. (From the song Frostbite by Oh Land)**_

_**Rest of translations below**_

* * *

><p>Chapter 2: Sono annoiato di mantenere disciplinato.<p>

"_Ho una proposta_."

"And what does this proposition entail?"

"Oh, just some innocent painting and a bit of harsh _giochi di parole_."

"Mm, what a tempting proposition, _tosoro_, but I must say no," Hikaru whispered, his lips turning down into a frown. He wasn't much for games; not without Kaoru, anyway. "I'm afraid I have other business to attend to."

Hikaru stared at the young woman before him. She was petite, black- haired, and... blessed by the gods. He reluctantly shifted his eyes from her body and focused them on the painting splattered onto the wall, contrasting with the bland, white color of the wall behind it. It wasn't much to look at, but it would suffice until he was ready to venture into the crowd of people behind him. He heard the clatter of the young woman's heels as she left his side. He could imagine the frustrated and disappointed look upon her face as she stalked away, hating his lack of attention. He continued to stare at the picture longingly, realizing that the strokes of red and dots of orange reminded him of a certain sibling. . .

"I didn't know you liked paintings of such . . . _espressione forte,_" commented a suave, familiar voice from behind him. He smiled, rolled his eyes and spun on the balls of his feet to face his guest.

"Then you mustn't know me at all, Annata."

Annata laughed, her dark skin radiant in the cast of of the light from the windows above her. She pursed her full lips into a grand smile and laughed. It was a magnificent sound, the only one that Hikaru relished in anymore. She traced her slender fingers down hiss jaw line, trailing her fingers with her eyes.

"_Gattino_, I know you better than you know yourself." She flashed a coy smile and dropped her gloved hand. Hikaru grimaced with the loss of the soft silk on his face. Annata turned toward the painting propped on the wall, placing her hands in a crossed position as if in deep thought. She stared at the painting for a few moments while Hikaru admired her profile.

"The more you stare at me, the less interesting I'll become," she whispered gently, keeping her eyes on the painting. Hikaru smiled, ready for her next string of words.

"Really? Care to explain?"

"It's like a painting, the more you try to memorize every line of paint, the more tedious the task becomes. And by the looks of it. . ." she paused turning her head slightly toward Hikaru so he could see the playful glint in her eyes. "I'd say these boring, painted lines need some _bellezza moderna."_

Hikaru smirked, a cynic sparkle resonating on his parted lips. He reached an arm out to Annata, and she anxiously took it, intertwining their arms and hands. They turned toward the crowd together. Hikaru brought his lips close to Annata's ear and whispered, "Let's show these critics some of our own _bellezza moderna_."

With that, Hikaru pulled Annata into the crowd of spectators, and they began their journey to the front of the museum. They walked steadily, but with purpose through the maze of people. Hikaru's eyes gleamed with anticipation, the excitement of the situation escalating with every step. They finally reached the gates of the entrance and dropped their arms. Annata looked up at Hikaru, and Hikaru smiled at the anxious gleam in her eyes. Annata smirked and pressed a tender kiss to Hikaru's cheeks.

"_Tu sei la bellezza moderna,_" she muttered, before disappearing into the crowd of people once more.

Hikaru sighed happily before tousling his hair a bit. He climbed onto the railing of the gate and sat comfortably atop it. He crossed his legs carefully, trying desperately to keep his balance. Once he was sure of his balance, he cupped his hands over the sides of his mouth and yelled, "_Potrei avere la vostra attenzione_?"

The mass of people continued to chatter away, so he screamed a second time much louder. "_Potrei avere la vostra attenzione_! Can I please have your attention!" After yelling for a few more times, the noise coming from the spectators subsided. All eyes were on Hikaru.

Hikaru smiled, a sickly sweet stretch of his lips. Soft murmurs and confused eyes pushed toward him, but he brushed them off, his adrenaline rush keeping him calm. He examined the crowd, spotting the seven familiar heads in the crowd—six were his own and one he had to impress.

"_Buon Pomeriggio e benvenuti_!" he began, yelling each word with enthusiasm. "_Benvenuti_ to the unveiling of new, contemporary artist at the Museo Nazionale di Spina in Ferrara, Italy. I must say the event has turned out marvelously! We must give a round of applause for Signore Biagio Addamo, the coordinator of this glorious occasion." Hikaru clapped his hands together several times, while staring straight into the apprehensive eyes of Biagio. The crowd was a bit hesitant at first, but proceeded to cheer and clap their hands for Biagio. Biago smiled then, giving a knowing wink to Hikaru.

Hikaru smiled slyly and coughed loudly to receive the attention of the crowd once more. "Signore Biagio, you are an inspiration to us all." Hikaru continued, steadying himself on the gate. "If I only I could've planned something as magnificent; although, if I were planning it, the art would be a bit more. . . hm, how do I put this?" Hikaru flashed a vain smirk and faked confusion. "The art would just. . . _be better_. I suppose the art I would exhibit would be more beautiful, more _modern_." Hikaru climbed down from the railing, landing on his feet like a cat. He stood before his audience with his head held higher than the rest, even though the tension in the room had elevated from his earlier comments.

He paced slowly, taking leisurely steps as if he actually needed to contemplate his words. The only sounds in the room were the clicking of his feet on the floor and the nervous breaths he took. The clicking of his heels stopped as he ceased his pacing and looked into the crowd of people. His eyes wandered the until he reached Biagio with a glittering glare. His lips turned upwards into a cunning grin as he slipped his hands into his pockets.

"You see, _Biagio_, the art here is nothing. Nothing compared to the rich themes and colors of the world today. Please, let us take our eyes off of your boring fantasies and place them unto my own realistic world." Hikaru paused, slipping his hands out of his pockets and crossing his fingers. He ran his eyes across the crowd once more, and found six other crossed fingers.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, turn your heads around, for something new awaits you. _Tu sei la bellezza moderna_."

The men and woman in the crowd turned their bodies around, their eyes searching for art. Astonished sighs sounded from the people as they found themselves in the presence of newly- hung portraits and canvases. The dull tans and browns if the museum's walls were covered in colors that hadn't touched the light of the earth until that day.

And then the cheering began. Loud whooping and excited cries escaped from the lips of the many Italians. Hikaru saw that they believed this was a part of the show; he let them.

"You are quite clever, Hikaru."

Hikaru turned his attention to the owner of the deep voice and caught the eye of Biagio once more. He was smirking mischievously with his eyebrows arched to perfection. Then Hikaru remembered where he was. What he was doing. And who he was. He frowned sadly, realization overcoming him. Hikaru wasn't much for games.

Not without Kaoru anyway.

* * *

><p>"That was quite a magnificent <em>and<em> risky move."

"Only to satisfy your taste."

"Hm, _touché_."

"I thought Italians weren't fond of the French," Hikaru stated blandly, tracing lines of paint with his eyes as he stared at the canvas before him.

Biagio chuckled. "We're not. Doesn't mean we can't use a little common phrasing."

"I guess," Hikaru replied, keeping his eyes on the painting.

Biagio sighed, ignoring Hikaru's lack of attention. "You managed to expel all of _my_ art from _my _museum and replace it with your own in a matter of minutes. You, Signore, are_straordinario_."

"_Grazie mille_, Signore," Hikaru whispered, finally turning his attention to Biagio. "I am so honored to have impressed you." Hikaru smiled, shooting Biagio a sweet look.

"Oh, I am honored to be in the presence of such an astounding artist. Your work is amazing." Biagio changed his attention to the painting in front of them. "I especially like this one." "The use of the pastel here is magnificent. _I dettagli __sono molto __profonde__. _Your detail outweighs some of the paintings I've seen in Florence."

Biagio lifted a hand and brought his fingers to the edge of the canvas, daring to touch it. "He looks identical to you. How did you manage such a perfect self-portrait in pastel?"

Hikaru stared at the painting once more, bedazzled by his own work. He brought his fingers to the painting and enjoyed the feel of the smooth, dry pastel. He smiled sadly, the massive hole in his stomach growing with each glance at the painting.

"It's not me. _E 'mio fratello_. It's my brother." Hikaru whispered, his voice barely audible over the buzz of the many people circling around them.

Biagio observed the young man's sad features. His lips were turned down in a melancholic frown, and his eyes poured out a longing stare. Biagio tightened, figuring this sudden sadness had something to do with his brother. He placed a hand on Hikaru shoulder.

"I want you on my team, Hikaru. You really impressed me. Tell your associates to call me." Biagio paused, not sure of what to do next. He wasn't sure if Hikaru had heard him.

"I'll take care of this, Biagio." Annata whispered, walking up toards them. "I'll make sure Hikaru calls, and if he doesn't, you'll be hearing from me. _Arrivederci_, Biagio."

Biagio looked once more at Hikaru, and then gave a grateful smile to Annata. "_Grazie_, Annata. _Congedo_."

Annata turned to Hikaru as Biagio's steps could no longer be heard. She placed a hesitant hand on Hikaru's back and began slowly tracing patterns.

"You should talk to him."

Hikaru sighed softly and lifted his eyes to Annata. Annata's breath caught in her throat as she saw the tears welling in his eyes. He smiled a little and chuckled, his lips not matching his eyes. "Ha! Talking is for those who keep relationships, _tosoro_. Unfortunately, I am not one of them."

"Relationships can always be rebuilt."

"Maybe here, they can. Apparently, you haven't see the amazing progress I've had back home with _relationships_." Hikaru spat, turning his attention back to the picture.

"Sarcasm is for the ill-willed _e stupido_." Annata replied with equal harshness, dropping her hand from Hikaru's back.

Hikaru lifted his eyes once more to Annata's and matched her fierce glare. He smirked and lifted his fingers to her chin. He slanted her face so she on the same sight level as he was. He leaned into her, still smirking.

"'Where ignorance is bliss, 'tis folly to be wise,'" he muttered sarcastically, his eyes on the edge of tears. Annata held his stare and saw his soul utterly breaking inside. Annata sighed, allowing Hikaru to keep his hand on her chin. She leaned her body in closer, taking both of her hands and pushing her body towards his, her lips resting inches away from his ear. She whispered softly and sweetly, just a few simple words.

"Your words are like fog, Hikaru. They make you hard to see."

* * *

><p>"Would an apology be enough?"<p>

"_Certo che no_! _Guardate __quello che ho __fatto_. Look what I've done."

"Anger surrounds me, even my friends."

"_Cosa devo fare_?" Hikaru quietly contemplated to himself. He walked alone down one of the many streets in Ferrera, talking to himself. He felt foolish speaking of such personal things out loud, but his frustration was becoming too much. Annata was always right about him, whether he wanted to admit it or not.

It was late. He had not left the museum until all the spectators had left. He stood alone and stared at his painting of Kaoru for several moments. He was reluctant to shed tears, but dared himself to try. He hadn't shed tears in some time. Hikaru didn't cry often. The realization that he almost cried over Kaoru caused him to understand how drastically important his brother was to him. Although he knew they would have to eventually spend time apart, he didn't think it would end up like it did. They hadn't spoken for a long two years, and they hadn't drowned in each other's embrace for three.

Hikaru wasn't necessarily religious, but he had faith in the universe. He had faith that something earthly or maybe even unearthly would bring his brother back to him. He never liked the idea of possessing Kaoru or tying him down with their brotherhood, but he knew they were connected. It might have been their undeniable differences that brought them closer or their drastic similarities, but Hikaru knew they were binded to one another in spirit and mind. He never believed in things of supernatural origin, although he knew he and his brother were one and the same. They were identical, in almost every way.

Hikaru was broken from his thoughts and whispers when he heard faint footsteps coming toward him. He didn't think much of it; probably just another person out as late as he. He was just as guilty as the other guy. He continued walking, but refrained from speaking to himself. It was a long while until the footsteps became eerily close to Hikaru's own.

He walked a bit faster.

Hikaru turned his head but saw nothing. No one coming around the corner. No shadows to indicate another person was near. Just footsteps. Footsteps that fell to the rhythm of his own. Footsteps that got no louder nor softer with the briskness of the walk.

His walk turned into a vigorous pace.

Hikaru turned a corner and turned his head again. No shadow. He noticed his assailant's footsteps had subsided. That didn't mean Hikaru slowed down. He was going into a panic, but he laughed it off, thinking himself crazed.

"Hikaru. . ." whispered a voice, dissonantly close to his ear. He knew that voice. It was such a familiar voice.

He began to run.

That voice _never_ sounded that cynic. He sprinted along the sidewalks, ignoring the voice which seemed to have multiplied into many voices. He was only a few blocks from his flat; this did nothing to calm him. He continued to run, never looking back.

"Hikaru, stop!"

And he did. Not because he wanted too. Not because he needed too. But because he was forced too.

The voices subsided then, leaving only a flashing streetlight and beautiful architecture that seemed suddenly incredibly disturbing. Hikaru's eyes were stuck open; he couldn't bring himself to blink. He felt frozen in place. Even his willful force to free himself seemed to have disappeared. He was alone. Trapped and alone.

He felt a slight tickling sensation at the base of his neck, like a fly landing on skin. But it wasn't a fly, nor a bug. No, it was the tip of something's fingers. He could feel it. Skin on skin. That one finger turned into many, crawling up and down his neck. Circling around to his front. He felt the hand trickle down to his chest, its palm floating across his stomach.

Even in all his panic, he couldn't help but like how it felt.

But then it grabbed. Squeezing around him, holding his body in a tight embrace. His back was pressed against something. Someone. He tried desperately to scream, but even his lips were stuck in an utter shocked expression. He felt the thing shift in position, and the sudden warm sensation of breath caused his body to shiver.

It giggled at his reaction, and Hikaru's heart rate accelerated. It was a nasty sound, completely inhuman. Unrecognizable. Its body pressed against his, causing him to topple over, out of his frozen trance. But thing's embrace did not go away. It stayed. And so did its breath on his ear.

"Come to me, Hikaru. I am lost."

Kaoru's voice whispered, sickly sweet and mockingly sarcastic.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: Here is quotes/Italian translation/ places**_

**_There won't be as many translations next time. Promise. _**

**_I'll try to put the translations in English after the person says it just to help. I did it for some of the longer translations in the story. _**

_Ho una proposta-** I have a proposition**_

_ G_iochi di parole-**W**__**__ordplay__**

_Tosoro- **Darling**(I'll be using this quite often)_

_Espressione forte- **Loud expression**_

_Gattino- **kitten** (this is actually a pet name my best friend uses to call me) _

_Bellezza moderna- **Modern Beauty** (It's sort of Hikaru's moto for his art)_

_Tu sei la bellezza moderna- **You are the modern beauty** (Also moto) _

_ _Potrei avere la vostra attenzione- **Can I please have your attention? **__

_ _Buon Pomeriggio e benvenuti- **Good aftertoon and Welcome**__

_ _I dettagli __sono molto __profonde- **The details are very profound/ good**_ _

_E 'mio fratello- **It's my brother **_

Grazie- **_Thank you_**

****_Congedo- **Farewell**_

_E stupido- **I don't think you need my help on this one :)**_

_ _Certo che no_! - **Of course not**_

_ _Guardate __quello che ho __fatto- **Look what I've done?**__

_ _Cosa devo fare- **What should I do? **__

__** Museo Nazionale di Spina in Ferrara, Italy- This is an actual museum in Ferrera, Italy. Very nice and quaint. **__

__**"Where ignorance is bliss,'Tis folly to be wise."- A quote from An Ode On A Distant Prospect of Eton College by Thomas Gray**__

__**Thanks for reading, sorry for the long A/N. This'll be my longest. The rest will be short and sweet**__

__**Until next time, **__

__**Ona **__


	4. Chapter 3

_**Another day, another chapter. **_

_** Thank you PhantomKino for betaing me!**_

_** Just a tid bit of information about what's happening. The things occurring to Kaoru is coinciding with what's happening to Hikaru which is why I set the chapters up the way I did. In threesomes. It might change as I move on, but the time is always the same. So remember that when reading. **_

_** Disclaimer: I do not own this anime, nor characters except my own OC. **_

_**Hope you enjoy! Reviews are love. **_

_**Italian translation: Two Can Be As Bad As One (One by Three Dog Night)**_

* * *

><p>Chapter 3: Due possono essere così grave come uno<p>

"It's just me! Just me…"

"No! You are not him! You're NOT HIM!"

"Calm down… please. Just stop shaking . . ."

"You're not him. You're not him. . ." Kaoru cried, cycling through his words while Kyoya tried desperately to hold him.

Kyoya wished he had the simple touch that Hikaru did to soothe Kaoru, for his simple embraces did him no good. Kaoru continued screaming, calling out the same words. Tears streamed down his face, leaving salty white trails. He was shivering violently and several beads of sweat made their way down his body. His shouts were agonizing, touching Kyoya's soul; he sounded pitiful in all his youth.

Kyoya continued trying to wake Kaoru, but he failed each time. He decided to take a different approach, adjusting his weight on the couch. He placed two hesitant hands on Kaoru's shoulders and pressed his entire body onto him, letting his weight drop. Kaoru persisted to struggle underneath him, his screams muffled by the fabric of Kyoya's shirt. Kyoya felt the thin cotton of it dampen as it absorbed Kaoru's many tears. Kyoya sighed, strengthening his hold on Kaoru.

"Open your eyes, Kaoru." Kyoya whispered sadly, his resolve breaking. He was beginning to lose his hold on Kaoru as he threatened to topple onto the floor. His muscles began to ache, and the Kaoru's kicking was beginning to bruise him. Kyoya whispered a soft imprecation before falling to the floor, bringing Kaoru with him. Kyoya sighed in pain as his recently bruised back hit the floor; Kaoru's weight added unwanted pressure to the fall. Kyoya stayed laying there, not having the energy to move.

Kaoru slowed his thrashing, resting his head in the crook of Kyoya's neck. He finally looked somewhat peaceful to Kyoya; although, his pale skin and the trails left of his tears made him look shattered. Kyoya stared at the ceiling, trying to forget the throbbing pain that was overtaking him. His muscles were still aching, and his back was an even worse state. He closed his eyes, exhaustion beginning to swell around him.

"Kyoya?" an almost unrecognizable voice murmured. Kyoya nearly gasped at the amount of utter fear expressed in the tone.

"Yes, yes. It's me. Just me, Kaoru. Just Kyoya," Kyoya breathed, propping himself on his elbows. Kyoya watched Kaoru as he pushed against his chest, a confused look upon his face. He looked a bit more calm, but sparks of fear were still dancing across his face. His eyebrows were pulled together in a confused stance, and his cheeks were flushed to a passionate red. His eyes were what struck Kyoya the most though. Fear was strewn across those orbs, while his pupils were dilated in pain. Kyoya was swept off his feet as he stared curiously into those eyes; he could almost taste the terror on his tongue and feel the sickening pain in his stomach.

"Kyoya, I-"

"Don't talk." Kyoya muttered, interrupting Kaoru. Kaoru stared at Kyoya with hopeful eyes. "You don't need to say anything for now, Kaoru."

"No, Kyoya. I _have_ to tell someone," Kaoru said sternly, lifting off of Kyoya. "You'd be better at analyzing this than anyone else."

Kyoya locked gazes with Kaoru once more, seeing the fear still flowing in his eyes.

"Okay."

Kaoru lifted completely off of Kyoya and settled down at his feet, leaning his back against the couch. Kyoya followed suit, sitting next to him. A few moments of tense silence followed; the only sounds audible were the anxious breaths Kaoru took.

"I was screaming and... moving about, wasn't I?" Kaoru asked softly, his voice wavering.

"Yes, you were thrashing about quite aggressively," Kyoya answered truthfully, weariness obvious in his voice.

Kaoru sighed, resting his head on his knees. "It was like nothing I've ever felt, Kyoya." Kaoru began explaining the weird dream to Kyoya in detail while Kyoya stayed silent, watching the other's body language. There was a fluidity about Kaoru's motions in the light of fear that made Kyoya even more curious than he already was. Kaoru was showing himself, all of himself, to Kyoya, and he appreciated it.

"It held me with a possessiveness that I've never felt before. It was straining to keep me near, almost like it needed me. I couldn't escape, Kyoya. It kept grabbing and reaching for me; I just knew it was a dream, but in dreams you can see what's happening. You can see your surroundings. I couldn't see _anything_." Kaoru's voice was shaking, and Kyoya could see he was trying desperately to hold back tears. He guessed he'd cried himself dry during the dream. "And then it spoke. It spoke just like him. It sounded just like him. I could never forget that voice, Kyoya. _Never._" Kyoya instantly knew the subject of the dream; Kaoru never talked about anyone other than Hikaru with such passion.

Kaoru's voice hushed, leaving the room in silence once more. Kyoya wasn't sure if he was crying or laughing by the sound of his voice. Kyoya put a shaky hand on Kaoru's back, trying desperately to soothe him. He gained no success.

"What did he say, Kaoru? What did the voice say?" Kyoya asked finally, knowing if he didn't ask, he wouldn't receive an answer. Kaoru stayed in the same position for a moment longer, muttering inaudible phrases.

"'Come to me, Kaoru. I am lost,'" Kaoru whispered with a gentle breath.

Kyoya was a bit confused at first, but that moment was gone in a second as he comprehended the situation. He let the phrase sit between them, pondering over several ideas in his head. He knew Kaoru missed Hikaru awfully, but the style of dream wasn't fitting to pure loneliness. It was something else, something unworldly. Supernatural ideas were never something Kyoya believed, but he was willing to look into it for Kaoru. The two had grown exceptionally close in the last three years, and Kyoya could feel himself wanting to do anything in his power to assist Kaoru with his problems. He decided he would look into it; he was never bored of research.

"It almost seems surreal, Kaoru. At this point, I have no accusations; however, I will be looking into this. We're going to unravel this mystery." Kyoya said sternly, wrapping an arm around Kaoru and pulling him close. He was never one for consoling people. or hugging for that matter, but he knew Kaoru needed it. He needed to be a good friend, for both their sake's. Kaoru released an exasperated sob and dove further into Kyoya's embrace.

They sat together in undisturbed, beautiful silence for the rest of the morning, staring at the blank walls before them and contemplating what to do next.

* * *

><p>"I apologize for my disinterest."<p>

"Your mind's somewhere else."

"I know it must be an inconvenience to you and our time together."

"I take no inconvenience when it comes to the human emotions." Mai stated, staring intensely at Kaoru. Her eyes succeeded to sink into his again, melting into his soul. Kaoru attempted to hide his emotions from her but had little success. She knew him, and it scared him to know that at any given moment she could read his thoughts. Only one other person in the world could do that to him; he was at a crossroad. Kaoru sighed, tousling his hair. He wasn't sure what to do—open up to her or change the topic of conversation. Luckily, she made that decision for him.

"Who is it?"she asked slowly, carefully. Mai knew she was overstepping her boundaries, but her connection with Kaoru left her curious and hungry. She wanted to know about him because she knew they were one in the same.

A few long seconds passed as Kaoru averted his eyes from Mai's. He contemplated briefly whether to tell her about his dream or just about his brother. Opening up to her would be admitting to her that they truly needed each other. He only needed one person.

"You look crazed, Kaoru. You look barely there." She whispered, her anguished tone of voice making Kaoru lift his eyes to hers. Her eyes were truly sad, worry filled them to the brim. Her face was also a mask of melancholy thoughts and worrisome feelings. It looked so wrong on her beautiful face; Kaoru hated it. How could he not let her know how he was feeling?

"Worry does not suit you, Mai." Kaoru muttered before he could stop himself.

"And fear does not suit you, Kaoru." She replied defiantly. Kaoru couldn't help but admire her.

His eyes strayed away from her face and down toward the gemstones that lined the waist of the gown she wore. It was midnight blue fabric that struck the room with a gentle glow that reminded Kaoru of a crescent moon. He frowned, remembering the crescent moon barely in the sky when Hikaru told him he was leaving. It was such a beautiful night. Pity it had to be swallowed by all their angst.

"It's Hikaru. My twin brother." Kaoru finally spoke, keeping his voice low. Mai stayed silent, reluctant to interrupt Kaoru's thoughts. "We haven't spoken in three years. I'm not necessarily sure why, but we haven't. We were inseparable. Joined at the hip. We knew nothing other than ourselves, and then it was gone. Just like that. Gone with the wind." Kaoru whispered the last phrase, a soft whisper illuminating off his lips.

Mai opened her mouth as to say something, but closed it quickly in apprehension. She knew the pain of having an empty space beside you when a loved one was no longer there. She understood, but would not admit this for this wasn't what Kaoru needed. He didn't need someone to console in; he needed to realize this for himself. She decided she would help with the journey.

"He didn't die. . . if that's what you're thinking." Kaoru breathed, finally letting his eyes rest on Mai's misty orbs. "We just. . . parted ways. We came out of high school as kids, and we ended our relationship as adults." Kaoru spoke with a languid sadness, as if the situation consumed him entirely.

Mai searched his eyes once more, taking full advantage of the opportunity he presented her. His autumn eyes seemed feral, bordering on madness. Something else had caused this, she knew. Pure loneliness could not be the answer. She waited a moment before speaking, letting Hikaru primarily take his eyes off of hers.

"What happened to make your mind utterly wild, Kaoru?" Mai asked in a worrisome tone. There was a moment of eerie silence between them that had Mai's fingers curling anxiously around the fabric of her dress. Mai noted Kaoru's scattered gaze, his fear overtaking him. He finally focused his eyes on hers, and she was met with a fractured gaze.

"Just a dream, Mai. Just a dream." Kaoru whispered, his voice shaky. His knuckles turned white with fear as he gripped the underside of his chair.

Mai stayed silent, wanting the information to flow out.

"Yet, it felt _so_ real. His arms. His body. His sensations. His _voice!_" he cried, his breaths becoming more frustrated. Mai almost moved back in her chair with the amount of absolute maddening fear booming from Kaoru's words and body.

"They were _everywhere_. Every inch of me. And I couldn't see a_thing_!" Kaoru yelled, borderline screamed. _Why was no one hearing this?_Mai thought, his raised voice taking her by surprise.

"You're not him….you're not him…you're not him…" Kaoru began his cycle once more, his gaze set directly on Mai's. It was an icy hot stare, that had Mai's blood coursing through her veins faster. She froze in her chair, listening to his soft, crazy voice.

They stayed frozen in time, until a knock at the door brought them back to reality.

* * *

><p><em>There was a silence that filled the air.<em>

_A dark miasma covered all corners and space._

_Hands that covered every inch._

_And then there was a voice._

Kaoru's eyes flickered open once more, his third time that night. He'd been overridden with nightmares of dreams past. He couldn't believe how shaken the dreams had made him. Usually, he was stronger than this. Anyone else, it wouldn't bother him as much. Hikaru always had that effect on him.

Kaoru sat up in his bed, cupping his sweaty forehead with his hand. He sighed tiredly, resenting the amount of darkness covering the room. It was nauseating the way the shadows seemed to mimic the darkness from his dream. There was no light. Kaoru stood up out of bed, his head hanging low. He struck the lights on as he walked slowly over to his washroom, enjoying the rays of artificial light. He sighed sadly, realizing how absurd it seemed to bask in the rays of something so artificial.

Kaoru cleared his mind of these thoughts, making his way to the washroom near his bedroom. He stepped in, flipping the light switch and ignoring the relief it gave him. He looked himself over in the mirror, not enjoying what he observed. He looked absolutely pathetic. His hair was glazed to his head with a thick coat of sweat, and his eyes were bloodshot from lack of sleep. His clothes stuck to his body in a manner that made him look meager. He leaned against the counter and took his eyes away from his own. He wasn't sure what to do; he would enjoy company, but calling anyone at this hour would be impolite. He decided he might as well dress himself ; after all, sleep was not his companion at the moment.

He turned the faucet on, making sure the water was icy. He cupped water in his hands and splashed his face a few times, waking himself from his slumber. He looked himself in the mirror again; he looked presentable at least. He grabbed a towel off of a shelf and wiped his face. He looked in the mirror once more and tried to fix his hair, combing his fingers through it, but he knew he needed to shower.

He began stripping himself of his clothing when he noticed a black spot forming on his face. _Blemishes don't form that quickly_, Kaoru thought. He touched his face, feeling the spot. He couldn't feel it, but he could see that the spot was growing. He began to panic a bit, noticing that as he touched it the blemish, it grew. Then he noticed something that scared him a bit more.

The growing blemish was no spot at all, but a hole.

A hole was growing in his face, stretching further across his cheeks. He panicked, touching his hands to his face not sure what to do. But everywhere he touched, another hole formed until his face was ridden with them, small but growing. Along his arms. Along his neck. Tiny holes, thickening in his skin.

His skin became soft against his hands, melting like cheese. He tried screaming, but his melting skin was blocking his airways. He tried desperately to leave the room, but something was causing him to stay. The same unworldly feeling filled him as it did in his first abnormal dream. _This must be a dream_ he thought, staring at his face and body as his skin peeled and melted away. As his skin began to pool around him, underneath was something horrible to behold.

The last of his being stretched around him as he stood staring at a darker form identical to his own in the mirror.

He would've guessed it was himself; although, the scared look he knew was plastered on his face did not mimic the cynical smirk on the forms lips.

"Hi-ka-ru?" he asked, his teeth chattering with fear.

His darker twin chuckled, the same chuckle that rung in his ears continuously. "_Kaoru_, why question something you already know?" it asked, the chilling voice sending vibrations up and down Kaoru's spine.

"Why are you doing this?" Kaoru screamed, his voice raising with rage.

"Isn't it obvious?" it responded, reaching a hand through the mirror and grabbing Kaoru's hand. Its fingers were cold around Kaoru's, and its grip was hard with possession.

"_I love you_."

Kaoru couldn't take it. He dove forward, ripping his hand away from Hikaru's image. He grasped the candle holder sitting on the countertop and began hitting the mirror with it. He struck with all his rage and worry until his fingers bled, and the mirror was a pile of broken shards. He settled down then, backing away from the razor-edged glass until his back hit the wall. He slid down the wall, ignoring the searing pain of the hand that had held onto the candle holder.

Then he felt it once more. Fingers gripping onto his shoulders, moving further. The same warm sensation touched his ear, and his breath hitched in his throat as the voice spoke once more.

"You're not quite through with me yet, _Kaoru_."


	5. Chapter 4

_**Ciao, lettori. Come Stai?**_

_** Thank you all so much for the nice reviews! I'm so happy I've got people that follow me. I find it so interesting I have a reader whose natural language is Spanish! I love Spanish. I love anything foreign for that matter. Rochy, Muchas gracias para los palabras muy simpaticos! Yo tratare de actualizar tan pronto como sea posible! Sorry for the faulty accents!**_

_** Even though I didn't get it to you, thank you for being my beta PhantomKino. **_

_** Italian Translation: Run, Runaway/ Lost, lost my mind (Runaway by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs)**_

* * *

><p>Chapter 4- Corri, corri via perso, Perso la testa

"It can't be."

"Oh, but it can, love"

"Love. . . it can't be."

"But love is all I feel for you, Hikaru."

Hikaru had given up trying to break the thing's hold. He had given up trying to formulate disgusted words or phrases as rebuttals to its continuous remarks. He decided he would let his tears flow aimlessly from his eyes, like the slurs of a drunken bard. He decided he'd wait, wait until he woke from this terrible dream because that was the only logical explanation he could devise in his current state of weakness.

Hikaru was beginning to believe he would never wake from this dream, that the world was blocking him from painting on its beautiful canvas. The pavement was cold upon his skin; he was sure his cheeks were flushed an unruly red. His fingernails dug into the small crevices between the stones that made up the streets, and to his surprise, he invited the taste of blood upon his tongue from his constant nibbling on his lip. It let him believe he was still alive somewhere.

"It can't be." He whispered once more, removing his fingers from the pavement and touching the skin of the thing that held him. It was cold, like skin after spending hours playing in the snow. Hikaru dug his fingers into it, and that only succeeded to create the low, scratchy giggle that produced a warm breath on his neck.

"Hikaru, my pain is yours. You should stop trying to hurt yourself." It said, a growl sounding from what Hikaru imagined was a throat.

Hikaru shed a few more tears as he felt the pain of his own nails digging desperately into his skin. It stung sharply sending pain up his arm. He whimpered, knowing if he screamed he'd resent it.

"It can't be." He spat again through gritted teeth.

'It can't be." He said again, bordering on yelling.

It chuckled once more, tightening its hold around Hikaru's body. Hikaru held his breaths, ready for whatever was coming.

"It can't be!" He screamed once more, anticipating the sharp, stinking developing in his lower back.

"You're hurting me, Hika." It said, feigning pain.

"It can't be!" he screamed, louder each time. He continued to repeat the same words, abandoning all genius he had left. He thrashed about madly, trying to break free of it's embrace. It laughed again, spluttering as if his screaming brought it so much comic relief, it were about to cry.

"IT CAN'T BE!" Hikaru boomed, shutting his eyes and breaking the bond. He struggled out of it's grasp as frantic tears ran down his already damp cheeks. He writhed around like a man on a fire, his paranoia getting the best of him. As his breath calmed, he felt the familiar feeling of the sun on his skin. He wanted to crack his eyes open and bask in it, but he was afraid of what he'd discover.

"Signore? Signore?" he heard a faint voice say. "Signore, stai bene? Are you okay?"

Hikaru opened his eyes, and he was met with warm, green eyes and a generous smile. A man stood before him, hand out toward him. The rays of the morning sun bathed across his face in a way that made his sympathetic smile seem even more genuine. Hikaru could only manage a small smile, but that seemed efficient to the man.

Hikaru lifted himself from the ground, after realizing he was laying upon a small sidewalk. The gracious man helped him from the ground and wiped the dirt from his shirt. Hikaru wasn't sure what was happening around him; his conscious mind was still engorged in his strange dream. He glanced around him, noticing the large crowd that surrounded him. He was sure he was the epitome of panic. He looked at the man who helped him once more, and flashed what he hoped was an appreciative smile. He stalked away then, not necessarily sure where he was going.

He could still feel it's hands floating across his skin, and his fingers still shook from nerves. He was sure to onlookers, his mind looked half gone as he walked down the street. His eyes were still wide in panic, something he couldn't seem to control.

He passed a bottler shop he knew, and continued down the street. Destination home. He walked for only a few minutes before arriving at his shared home with Annata. He fumbled with the lock for a bit, his hands still shaking, before opening the door and walking into their apartment.

He instantly felt the fatigue overcome him as he walked through the door. He stumbled in and heard Annata call his name from the direction of the kitchen. He found the nearest empty wall to the right of him and pressed his back to it, sliding down the wall until he hit the floor. He let his head lull at his knees while his hands wrapped around his legs.

Hikaru heard Annata's tired footstep as she shuffled into the room. He heard her sigh softly before making her way over to him. She slid down the walk next him, invading his personal space. She took his hand in hers and traced soothing circled across his palm.

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters to what lies within us, Hikaru. Remember that" Annata whispered, wrapping her arms around Hikaru's small form.

"You'll need it."

* * *

><p>"I am aware of some. . .complications"<p>

"I wouldn't call them complications. Just some. . .personal issues."

"And that's perfectly fine. If you need time. . ."

"Per favore, Biagio. I am in no need of your sympathies. I'm here for business anyhow." Hikaru said, lifting his eyes to meet Biagio's blue orbs. He hid beneath his professionalism, not letting his emotions show. He didn't want to ruin his chance for business with Biagio.

Biagio raised his hands as to say "surrender" and leaned back in his chair. "Bene, bene, Hikaru. Well then, let's talk business." He said smirking at his words.

"Summer is arriving, and I want your pieces to be my centerfold. The plan is simple, Hikaru. My museum will be showcasing your work for half the summer, so you can become known in the art industry of Italy. The other half of the season will consist of numerous events around Italy where we will present your artwork before critiques and collectors. By the winter season, collezionisti vorranno la vostra arte. Collectors will want your art in their collection." Biagio paused, smiling at Hikaru and taking a sip of his gin.

"But we must do this correctly, Hikaru." Biagio continued, leaning into his words. "I know this might seem difficult for you." Biagio whispered, suddenly becoming very apprehensive. He looked at Hikaru once more, analizing his stature carefully before saying, "I want the majority of your work to consist of your relationship with your brother."

Hikaru's eyes widened before immensely saddening. His shoulders slumped a bit in his chair, and Biagio caught his obvious discomfort with the subject. Biagio caught his stare, regretting it so. He could see the blatant demise coursing through his eyes, and was there fear as well?

"Your work tends to tell very intricate tales, and I believe the addition of your twin sibling could bring about something Florence has yet to see." Biagio blurted before giving Hikaru a chance to answer him.

A few moments of silence passed while Hikaru's stare cycled from sadness, anger, fear, and back to sadness. Biagio felt the strangest feeling of déjà vu, like he was interrupting something that had yet to occur. He shifted in his chair anxiously, hoping Hikaru would take his offer.

"Give me a few months Biagio, and I'll have the pieces ready for the summer." Hikaru whispered, his eyes lingering somewhere near the third button of Biagio's shirt. Biagio waited, expecting Hikaru's eyes to flicker up to his. When they did, he smiled widely hoping it would somewhat reassure Hikaru.

"Certo! Take as much time as you'd like, Hikaru. I don't want anything holding your creativity back." Biagio said with enthusiasm. He was absolutely beaming with joy at Hikaru's words; Hikaru was somewhat happy he could bring joy to at least one person in his life. Biagio leaned forward, retrieving his glass from the table and reaching it out toward Hikaru.

"A toast!" he proclaimed, waiting for Hikaru to copy his movement. Biagio noticed melancholy aura that illuminated around Hikaru, his eyes were glassy from holding back unwanted tears and his body language was all but happy. Biagio frowned a bit, sighing softly under his breath. Biagio would've loved the opportunity to know Hikaru as a child, to be his friend. But he knew he knew he needed to keep their relationship professional; nothing good would come of him meddling in Hikaru's affairs.

When Hikaru finally let his hand wrap around his glass and lift it towards Biagia's extended arm, he dropped his gaze slowly. Biagio waited patiently, needing the connection of their gazes to make the deal. Long, tense seconds passed as Hikaru's breathing accelerated and slowed continuously. Hikaru's breathing calmed slowly, while his tense body relaxed. He finally looked up at Biagio, and he almost gasped at the amount of sadness swelling in those eyes.

Biagio was ready to dismiss HIkaru, but Hikaru abruptly closed the space between their glasses with a loud clunk. I seemed utterly out of place in the uneasy, distressing moment.

Biagio cleared his throat, his eyes wavering away from Hikaru's. He decided to continue with his original toast, seeing as Hikaru seemed barely there at that moment.

"Carpe diem, Hikaru." Biagio whispered, setting his glass on the table and standing. He was certain the conversation had ended moments before. He stared down at Hikaru, not sure what to say or what to do.

Hikaru stayed seated, gripping his glass like a lifeline. His hand was flushing a fiery red; Biagio suspected if he gripped any harder, the glass might shatter. He was shaking, shivering as if someone's cold hands were walking up his spine.

"It can't be" Hikaru muttered, barely audible.

"Scusi?" Biagio asked, leaning a bit closer to Hikaru.

Abruptly, Hikaru lifted his head, his eyes instantly connecting to Biagio's. A cynical smile twisted on his lips as he lifted his glass slowly. His poignant eyes didn't quite meet his smile.

"And carpe ominous, Biagio."

* * *

><p>"Can't sleep?"<p>

"Not at all."

"Come on. Into my bed."

"Annata, I couldn't possibly-" Hikaru began, staring at her outline in her bedroom.

"Hey, it should be _me _that's worried about _you_ in my bed. Don't you dare try anything, pretty boy." Annata said tiredly, trying to add some sort of humor to the situation. Hikaru appreciated her effort.

"I would never." Hikaru whispered, climbing into her bed. He picked up an extra pillow from the floor beside the bed, so his head was elevated the way he liked. It was a bit odd for him, sleeping in someone else's bed. Other than Kaoru. He had this strange expectation that Annata would eventually wrap herself around him, but he knew it was a lost cause.

He moved as close as he dared to Annata, whoes body was turned inward so her body was facing his. He decided to lay on his back for now, reluctant to disturb Annata's sleep pattern with his moving about.

He stared up at the ceiling at first; he new he didn't want to go to sleep. He had been avoiding it for the last few days, the dreams unwanted. He let his eyes wander around the room, trying to discover something interesting to watch in the room. He noticed a medium-seized mirror on the opposite wall. He could see the dark outline of his reflection and Annata's sleeping form as well. Moonlight struck across the bed, bathing them both in its rays. Hikaru stared at himself aimlessly, not sure what he was looking for.

And then he saw it.

A small opening in the mirror, a black dot. Hikaru stared at it, knowing this was the beginning of another horrific hallucination. He crawled to the edge of the bed, as far he dared to go and glared. Another dot appeared on the mirror, at the edge of his cheeks. And another. Several appeared after one another, congregating on Hikaru's face.

It wasn't until the dots got bigger that Hikaru began to panic.

Hikaru touched his face and felt the hollow holes spreading across his face. He felt up his arms and felt them sprinkling across his entire body. He looked up at himself in the mirror once more. His being was wasting away. His skins was sliding off of him, bits and pieces of him. His touched his face once more before letting his skin dribble off, pooling onto the bed.

He wasn't surprised at what he saw in the mirror.

"Hi-ka-ru?" he heard it say, it almost sounded terrified, it's voice breaking. He didn't believe it.

"Why question something you already know!" he screamed at it, letting his anger slide off him. He leaned over, dropping his head. He didn't want to deal with this at the moment.

"Hikaru, what's happening?" he heard Annata's voice scream from behind. He'd forgotten about her. How is this possible? Why is she affected by my hallucination as well?

He disregarded that information and pivoted around. He was met with an empty bed and cold air.

"It can't be." He whispered, fear overtaking him. He'd lost control, finally. He let it all fall out.

"Why would _you_ do this!" he shouted, rebellious tears toppling over his eyes and cheeks. They streamed down his face with vigor. The only response he received was a deep chuckle, one he'd never forget. He spun around once more, staring into those cold eyes that once harbored such warmth, such compassion.

"I don't understand. It can't be! Don't you know that I love you." He whispered the last words, words so foreign to his lips for the past years. It felt forced, unnatural.

And then the mirror shattered to pieces. Right before his eyes. He was gone, broken into a million pieces right before his eyes. Evil or not, Hikaru wished he could've saved him. He'd rather have it's embrace than no embrace at all.

Be careful what you wish for.

Hikaru screamed, feeling the familiar sting of its' cold arms wrapping around him. He struggled hopelessly and finally he dropped his head in defeat.

"You're not quite through with me yet, Hikaru."

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: Sorry for the late update. My computer's filter is broken, so I had to rewrite a good part of this chapter. It's been broken for a few weeks now, so I'm not sure when the computer shop is going to be finished with it. I will try my best to update on time, but I can't make any promises at the moment. **_

_** Also, I will be M.I.A. for about two weeks because I'll be in Italy, so most likely I won't be able to update for about three weeks. I'm not sure how the internet is in Italy, but if I have it, I'll steal someone's labtop and hopefully I'll be able to update. **_

_** "What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters to what lies within us." – Henry S. Haskins**_

_** "Carpe diem"- Seize the day**_

_** "Carpe ominous" –Take it all(A friend said this to me the other day and I had to use it)**_

_** Until next time(which I hope is soon), **_

_**Ona**_


	6. Chapter 5

_**Ciao, Bella. Sorry to keep you waiting. In case anyone cares, I had a lovely time in Italy. Some of the scenery will most certainly be described in better potential for my story. Quite a wonderful coincidence, eh? I was sad to leave, but content to keep updating for you all. I was itching to check my fanfiction throughout these few weeks, but internet was hard to find. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this update and hopefully your summer or winter is going swell.**_

_**I also changed the format for this "part" of the fiction. Each time there is a different type of. . . allusion, I will change the setup of the chapters for that part. Keep that in mind.**_

_**Thank you PhantomKino for betaing me!**_

_**I do not own this anime, nor characters except my own OCs.**_

_**Italian translation: Fearing You, Loving You (Haunted by Evanescence)**_

* * *

><p>Chapter 5: Temendo che, Amarti<p>

He sat with his back leaned over uncomfortably in the chair, turning the stiff pages of an old text. His hands burned slightly; he had cut his fingertips several times while leafing through with such a vigor. He slipped a few of his fingers in his mouth, hesitant to move from his position to go to the bathroom. He closed the book aggressively, sighing in frustration. He slipped both of his hands through his hair, feeling the sweat residing there from stress. He leaned back in his chair and glared at the mess he'd created on his desk. He itched to straighten it up but knew he had to keep searching. Searching for anything. Any clues that could move him a little bit closer to understanding this whole phenomenon.

He sighed once more and wiped the sweat from his brow before sliding in his chair which conveniently sat on a pair of wheels. He slid to the opposite side of the large room where his bookshelf sat, covering the entire wall. He traced his fingers over several book titles, looking for something pertinent to his research. _Faust, The Medici Affect, Pioneers of Psychology, The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat, Dream Psychology, Interpretation of Dreams._

Bingo.

He gently maneuvered the two books from their tight space and quietly contemplated whether he should throw the books onto his desk from his distance or simply roll back to his desk. He decided upon the most logical solution. He bit his lip while he lifted the books above his head. He aimed for his desk carefully, and then he tossed the book, following through with his arms. One of the books landed point blank on his desk, knocking a few of the others off while the other proceeded to crash into the picture frame hanging above his desk. The frame fell to the floor loudly, and the book plopped next to it. He groaned, pinching his nose.

"Shit." He whispered, slumping in his chair.

"Profanity's not usually your style, but then again, I haven't seen you have this much fun since. . . ever." An all too familiar annoying, little voice said from behind him. He sat up in his chair, the comment frightening him a bit. He lost his composure for a millisecond, before deftly spinning in his chair to face his intruder. His hands crossed at his lap, and his nonchalant glare piercing through his spectacles.

"_Tamaki, please_. I am trying to conduct some very, important research. Please leave." He said, eating Tamaki's name as he said it. Tamaki instantly slumped in his stature and his face scrunched in a wad of sadness. He took to the floor, inching closer to Kyoya's feet.

"_Kyoya. . ._" he spluttered sadly, kneeling at his feet and grappling onto Kyoya's ankles. "I just wanna know what's wrong. You've been up here all day. . ."

Kyoya sighed, hating when Tamaki got like this. Half of him felt horrible putting him in that state, and the other half wanted him to just go away. He surely did not want him to go into any retched corner of his study and mope like a sorry child with his dark expressions. . . and mushrooms.

Kyoya let out a loud breathe of wind, making his irritation known. He removed his glasses, wanting a break from the rims framing his vision. He looked downwards casting his gaze upon Tamaki. He gave a small smile, a gift to anyone lucky enough to receive. He shook Tamaki off his ankle and picked him up with one hand lifting his chin and the other wrapping around his waste.

"If you're going to stay, you might as well be of some use." Kyoya chuckled then, reminding himself that he was talking to Tamaki. He could dazzle a crowd of women, but ask him to find something in plain sight, and he'll be looking for days.

"Sit with me. Help me sort through these books"

Tamaki instantly had a smile upon his face, his teeth shining. He sat in the second rolling chair, enjoying how the seat adjusted to his weight. He grappled to the handles and spun around, laughter illuminating off his vocal chords. Kyoya rolled his eyes, moving over to his desk to examine the books he had just thrown.

"You act like you've never been in a chair with wheels before, please, Tamaki. I need your help; this is all I ask of you this afternoon." Kyoya breathed, his tired tone catching Tamaki's attention. Tamaki rolled over next to him, picking up the books that had fallen. He quickly looked to Kyoya trying to find his eyes. It was obvious he hadn't been sleeping well. Tamaki knew him better than he knew himself.

"Kyoya, how are you?"

Kyoya's breath hitched at the question; he hadn't been asked in so long. He wasn't even sure how to answer.

"Fine, thank you." He answered, burying his head in his books.

"No, Kyoya. How _are_ you really?" Tamaki asked again, placing a gently hand on Kyoya's back.

"_Tamaki_, I'm f-" he stopped, realizing that there was no use in lying. "I'm tired, honestly. I just want to go to sleep. Rest my eyes. Kaoru has been. . . having emotional complications, and I seem to be the only one he could turn too. I told him, I'd help; although, I can't find _anything_. There's absolutely nothing that can help me explain what's happening to him. I'm a little worried honestly. I believe I might fail him."

Tamaki listened with curiosity, not necessarily understanding the situation. He and the Hitachiin twins were never close, but the entire High School Host club knew about the horrid separation between the two. He figured it had something to do with that. He looked at Kyoya now; he was finally letting himself show. He had to admit, he was a bit jealous of Kaoru; he'd always wanted to be the one that Kyoya opened up too. But that was no matter now. His friends were hurting; he had to do whatever he could.

"Kyoya, why are you so keen on giving up hope? This is not you. You never fail, and I will not stand for you to sit here bathing in your own self- pity. You have failed no one, and you never will. Now, let's look through these books." Tamaki smiled brightly, leaving the pep talk to a minimum. He grabbed the book entitled _Dream Psychology _and opened it. He wondered for a few moments how this book could possibly help Kaoru; it was old and odd-looking.

When his interest peeked at the sight of the books, he noticed Kyoya stared at him with newfound hope. He glanced in Kyoya's direction, and Kyoya was staring at him happily. Tamaki smiled in returning, restraining himself from reaching over and giving Kyoya a hug. He returned his interest to the book, looking at the table of contents.

"Kyoya, I'm not necessarily sure what I'm looking for. Here, you look at the Table of Contents." Tamaki whispered, pushing the book to Kyoya. Kyoya took it happily, examining the chapter titles. He traced his hands over the ink and read the tittles aloud in his mind. _The Function of a Dream, The Primary Process, The Secondary Process, Regression, The Unconscious and Consciousness._ Kyoya stopped, looking at the page number of the last chapter. He turned to it, letting his eyes bounce off the pages.

"Tamaki. . ." Kyoya whispered, giving him an anxious glare. Tamaki leaned over, looking at where Kyoya's index finger was pointing. He read the words aloud. "'But from the moment that the suppressed thoughts are powerfully occupied by the unconscious wish-feeling and abandoned by the foreconscious occupation. . ." Tamaki stopped, not sure whether to go on. He wasn't even sure what he was reading. He looked at Kyoya, who gave him a reassuring look. "'They succumb to the primary psychic process and strive only for motor discharge; or, if the path be free, for hallucinatory revival of the desired perception identity." He finished reading, leaving the room in uncomfortable silence.

"This is a relief." Kyoya finally said after moments of silence. "I thought perhaps there were other elements involved. I must call Kaoru!" Kyoya almost shouted reaching for his mobile device.

Tamaki let out a sigh of happiness, reaching for the book. He read on, hoping he could possibly understand why this was so important. He continued reading as Kyoya had a heated discussion with Kaoru over the phone. Kyoya was smiling brightly; he'd smiled so much in one evening, Tamaki could not begin to comprehend why. He kept reading, but the sentances were beginning to meld together with the complexity of their subject.

Tamaki's eyes widened when he finished the last sentence of the paragraph.

"Kyoya. . ." he said, reaching a hand out to him. "You might want to see this." He walked over to Kyoya who was now standing at the opposite side of the room still speaking with Kaoru. He grabbed Kyoya's wrist, pointing his attention toward him. "Kyoya!" he continued to say, understanding that the information Kyoya was telling Kaoru was flawed. Kyoya pushed him away, putting his index finger up to his lips several times. Tamaki sighed, pushing himself into one of the rolling chairs. He slumped over, wishing that he could be of more use.

He stared at Kyoya, his happy state returning to his face. He looked so content, so relieved. Tamaki crossed his arms, despising that he had to break Kyoya's spirit. More so, he had to break Kaoru's as well. He let out another sigh and crossed his legs. He sweared under his breath, the first imprecation he'd said that day.

Kyoya said a farewell to Kaoru and hung up the phone. He grabbed his jacket off the back of his chair and turned to Tamaki.

"Um, erm, heh. . . thanks Tamaki. You're a good friend." Tamaki smiled sadly, his best friend stumbling over his words. He'd never said thank you and meant it like he did now. Tamaki longed to hug him, but he kept his ground. He stared sadly at Kyoya, the smile wiped clean off his lips.

"Let's not get our hopes up, Kyoya. There are several. . ." he began, watching as Kyoya slowly melted to pieces before him.

* * *

><p>He closed his cell phone, returning it to its rightful place in his coat pocket. He shifted in his seat, his eyes resting somewhere at the wall behind her.<p>

He wasn't sure how he was supposed to be feeling. He'd just heard good news, correct? Although, he didn't believe it. It gnawed at his brain that a sentence. . . a sentence could possibly explain what was happening. Was Kyoya that desperate? No, he wouldn't think that way of Kyoya; however, in the past weeks, he could tell that his dilemma was causing Kyoya both stress and fatigue. He had no intention of causing his friend harm in his. . . situation. But he still didn't believe it. He hadn't slept in days, the dark frightening him. He stayed away from his reflection, every piece of glass, mirror, silverware. His shadows burned into him, in a way that only his sibling could.

How could a book written hundreds of years before him possibly know what was happening to him? His mind was being ravaged by images of a sibling he so longed to be with. Every corner he turned, he saw him. Every face he encountered, he saw him. His eyes cracking through the walls he had put up for so long, and those lips whispering his demise. He heard his voice echoing in the crevices of his mind, teasing him and taunting him. It was haunting, and nothing could explain this. Nothing could explain the feeling of utter dread that crept through his bones when he was on the edge of sleep. Nothing.

He slapped his hand on the table, regretting it the moment he did. It put him out of the crowd and now he was noticed.

"Kaoru, you've been acting strangely. . .stranger than usual." she whispered, her eyes dropping from his the moment he focused on hers. There was an intensity there that she couldn't quite comprehend.

Kaoru shifted his eyes to hers again, lifting her chin with his fingers. He let his index finger draw circles on her chin gently. She closed her eyes, melting into the touch.

"_Mai_, I have no intention to forget you. My apologies. My mind is somewhere else, and it's not something I want to lay on your back today. I am yours." Kaoru whispered, sliding his lips across the edge of hers.

He shivered with her, not quite realizing how attracted he'd been to her. His foggy thoughts had covered his intimate feelings. He was at a lost; he'd never be with her. There was only one world he belonged in. This didn't happen to be the one.

Kaoru moved away, dropping his hand from her chin. "I apologize for my absence, Mai. Go on." He said, letting his eyes rest somewhere near her collarbone.

"I wasn't saying anything, Kaoru. The last hour has been. . . quiet to say the least." She whispered, still a bit surprised. Kaoru stayed silent and waiting. He was beginning to question his purpose for being there; he wasn't interested in speaking at the moment.

"Kaoru, _speak _to me. Your stress and discontent is obvious in every manner. Your actions make no sense, which tells me your mind must be scattered. Kaoru, talk to me." Mai placed a gentle hand on his chin, mimicking the gesture he'd done beforehand. She made his eyes meet hers, as to reassure him of her determination.

Kaoru softened, underestimating the effect of Mai's actions. He'd come to realize how utterly important the people in his life had become. He needed them. Without them, he was nothing.

No.

This was all wrong. All of it. The dreams. The hallucinations. Mai. . . Kyoya. . . All wrong.

Kaoru gripped the edge of his seat, a rather passionate emotion overtaking him. A strong aching in the pit of his stomach struck him aggressively, throwing him into the cushions of his chair. His breathing became heavy, and a mixture of anger, anxiety, and rage covered him. He was completely engulfed in it's arms.

Mai reacted rather calmly, knowing this must be the effect of one of his hallucinations. She sucked in a deep breath and moved closer to Kaoru than she already was. His random outrage had knocked her to the floor, but she carefully removed herself from the hardwood and inched closer to Kaoru. He had a somewhat confusing look on his face, almost like his body wasn't doing what his mind wanted him too. She reached the edge of his seat, his legs hoisted above the floor. She placed a careful hand on the edge of the seat, locking glares with Kaoru. She felt. . . odd. Like Kaoru's confusing emotions were seeping into her. She placed her other hand on Kaoru's shivering knees.

"Kao-"

A soft, yet powerful object whipped across Mai's face, pushing her to the floor. She hit the hardwood on her side, panting for air. She put a hand to her face, feeling the bruise forming. All the while, Kaoru had leapt from his chair and was standing over her. It was the first time in their meetings that she was truly terrified of him. He was taking deep breaths, quick and vigorous. His eyes were seething with the emotions that had overcome him.

"You are _all wrong_!" he screamed, pointing a shaky finger at her. "All wrong."

And just as quickly as it had come, the defensive emotions left. It left Kaoru with a mess he didn't know he had made. He looked around the room, noting the upturn chairs and lighting equipment. And then his eyes ran across Mai. A large, red mark was plastered onto her right cheek. A hand. He turned his palms over, taking in a powerful whip of air when he realized his left palm was red. He then realized what he had done; tears rolled freely down his cheeks. He looked down at Mai, who had yet to realize his outburst was over. She looked completely terrified. Of him.

He looked around the room once more and then back to Mai. "Mai, I. . ." he tried, but stopped himself. He gave her a regretful look as he fled the room. It left her to continuously slide her hand across her face, while she replayed the afternoon once more.

* * *

><p><em><strong> AN: All the books I used are actual books, most of which I own. I find psychology to be a very interesting field of profession and study. **_

_Faust- __**Johann Wolfgang von Goethe**_

_The Medici Effect- __**Frans Johansson**_

_ Pioneers of Psychology- __**Raymond E. Fancher**_

_ The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat- __**Oliver Sacks**_

_ Dream Psychology, Interpretation of Dreams- __**Sigmund Freud**_

"But from the moment that the suppressed thoughts are powerfully occupied by the unconscious wish-feeling and abandoned by the foreconscious occupation, they succumb to the primary psychic process and strive only for motor discharge; or, if the path be free, for hallucinatory revival of the desired perception identity."- **Sigmund Freud, **_**Dream Psychology**_**. **

_**Also, The Table of Contents is actually the Table of Contents in the book.**_


	7. Chapter 6

_**Thank you PhantomKino!**_

_**Italian Translation: Regreting Things That Haven't Happened Yet (1940 by The Submarines)**_

* * *

><p>Chapter 6: Mi Rammarico che le Cose non Sono Ancora Avvenute<p>

She checked the contents of her purse, confirming she had everything required of her. She had to make a journey she did not want to take. She sighed, taking one last look at the form finally sleeping soundly in her bed. She smiled sadly. Oh, how she longed for him; although, his mind was not set on her. She understood completely; he had come so far in such a short time. She was immensely proud of him, but her pride could not mask her feelings.

She broke her eyes away from him and made her way to the front door of her apartment. She left her apartment quickly, almost running down the spiral staircase that lead to different floors. The elevator was too small and lacking in speed for her liking.

She made her way down the street, turning several corners before she reached the train station. Luckily, it wasn't too far. Upon arriving at the station, she purchased a train ticket. Destination: Venezia. She waited about an hour before the train came, knowing she needed to be early to beat the business crowd.

She stepped up the few steps onto the train into the First Class cabin. She sat in the very last seat of the cabin where another seat was empty opposite of hers. She made herself comfortable, trying to keep her anxiety away. She looked around the cabin, occupying herself with the décor while she waited.

She had ridden the train before several times, but that was always commercially. First Class was very different than sitting in the last cart by her lonesome. The seats were padded nicely which made it easier for her to relax into them. The windows were a nice size, giving her a wonderful view of what passed. The color scheme gave the cabin a warm feeling, something she enjoyed immensely. Many other people sat down, their designer glasses glinting in the sunlight that threw itself through the windows.

Her nails dug into seat cushion when a nicely dressed woman sat in the seat opposite hers. She wore black, rimmed glasses that balanced on her nose perfectly, and her blond hair was squeezed into a perfect bun on her head. Her lips were painted a red that reminded her of dark, red wine. Her legs crossed instantly as she sat while her long fingers intertwined casually on her thighs. Her eyebrows were lifted and her stare was directed exactly her way.

"Must you look so terrified? I've never really been known to be scary." Her accent was foreign, but her Italian was perfect. She sighed when she noticed the anxiety was not leaving.

"My name is Devlyn. I hear you are in need of my services?" she asked, almost like it was something she said every day. She raised an eyebrow, pursing her lips when she received no answer.

"What is your name, dear?" Devlyn asked, reaching a hand across the table that separated them.

"Is that important?" she answered, not sure where it came from.

Devlyn seemed taken aback, her hand stopping before touching her leg. "_No, n__o __che non è_. But when you are in need of my services again, which I am sure you will, I will need to know your name. It could be fake for all I care, but we do keep customers on file." She spat, moving her hand back to it's original position. "No matter how strange the situation." She added as an after statement.

"Annata." She answered, after a few moments of tense silence. Annata calmed then, realizing she didn't have much to fear. She was on a public train with several witnesses, incase anything happened.

"Hm, Annata. Beautiful name. You're a pretty, little thing." Devlyn said, acting as if she was thinking aloud. She wasn't planning on offending anyone today. She let her eyes swoop across the woman before her before asking, "What do you require of me Annata? What kind of paranormal things have been happening to you? Sleep paralysis, I suppose?"

Annata didn't answer for a bit, not necessarily sure how too. She was trying to help a friend, but she wasn't sure if this was how she wanted to go about doing it.

"Not me. A friend. He's been having strange dreams and hallucinations about his twin brother. I think the term is lucid dreaming?"

"Possibly. It depends on the situation. You say their hallucinations about his twin?"

"Yes, they're identical."

Devlyn thought on this, lifting one of her hands to her temple. "With twins, there could be several things going wrong. Dreams are normal, no matter how frightening. Hallucinations are an entirely different matter. Has anything else strange happened?"

"I could tell you about the hallucinations." Annata suggested, thinking that would be most appropriate.

"Please do, love." replied Devlyn, taking in Annata's form. She listened intensely while her eyes memorized her form. She listened as Annata told her about the hallucinations in great detail. As the stories continued, she became more and more interested. It wasn't everyday she got a case like this.

"He wasn't able to open his eyes at all?" Devlyn inquired, after listening to Annata's tale completely.

"No, he said he was enveloped in darkness, but he could still feel the touching and hear his brother's voice."

Devlyn thought for a moment, really analyzing the situation. She enjoyed a challenge, and this she knew would be a challenge.

"Annata, I have to show you something before you decide to work with me." Devlyn lifted from her seat, motioning for Annata to stay seated. She walked to the very front of cart and knocked on the door connecting the cart to where the engineer surely was. The door whipped open and she walked in. Several moments passed until Annata saw Devlyn emerge from the doors. She walked back over to her, receiving several curious glares.

"_Seguimi__, caro" _She said quickly, before disappearing into another cabin. Annata complied and followed her until they were standing before the door that separated them from the very, last cabin. There was some sort of pad attached to the wall next to the door, like the one normally seen in hotels. Devlyn pulled out a blank, white card and held it in front of the pad. Annata could barely hear the faint click indicating the door was open. Devlyn turned to Annata quickly and whispered, "Don't stare at the patients."

Devlyn quickly slid the door open, and Annata drew in a sharp breath as she lay her eyes upon the dimly lit cabin. Instead of seats, there were several beds lined up on both walls of the cabin, all occupied with what seemed to be sleeping forms. Next to each bed, there were people dressed in white coats observing the forms in the bed. As Annata moved into the cabin, she noticed several syringes in the people's hands. Many of them were slowly slipping needles into the form's arms, inserting a thick, clear liquid.

"Devlyn?" one of the people said, lifting from their chair. It was a young, man.

"Yes, Carlo?" Devlyn answered, a smile plastered on her face.

"Alessandra, the patient I have suffering from several OBE's, is now experiencing some sort of hypnagogia hallucination. I've given her several doses. I think it's time we hooked-" A piercing scream brought him to a stop, and his eyes widened, as did Devlyn's. "That's her." He whispered, directing the comment to Annata.

Devlyn almost sprinted through the maze of beds and reached the back of the cabin. Carlo grabbed Annata's wrist with force and pulled her into the same path as Devlyn. Annata let him, terrified of what was happening. She tripped over several chords and almost fell into one of the bed, which got her a few nasty looks from some of the men and woman in the white coats. They finally reached the back, and Annata put a hand over her mouth as she took in the sight.

Devlyn and who she presumed to be Alessandra were tangled in each other's limbs, wrestling on the floor. Alessandra had her eyes closed, and she was screaming something fierce. She was clawing at Devlyn's face with quick hands, but Devlyn dodged every attack. Devlyn soon had her pinned to the floor in a tight hold. A syringe appeared in her hand, and she quickly found a vein in Alessandra's wrist and slid the needle in.

"Sshh, Alessandra. Sshh. It's Devlyn. No one else. Sshh. _Sonno, Alessandra. Sonno_." Devlyn spoke in a calming voice. A brilliant light illuminated from the two as Devlyn inserted the liquid. Annata was blinded for a few seconds, but when she regained her sight, Alessandra was fast asleep in Devlyn's arms. Devlyn carried Alessandra to her bed, leaving her for Carlo's care.

Annata watched in awe, the situation leaving her speechless. She'd never seen anything like it, and it amazed her. She wandered how no one heard them? How could this just be happening under people's noses?

"The room is sound protected. No one can hear us, if you're worried. Besides, no one is allowed in the last cabin on this particular train." Devlyn whispered, standing beside Annata. She put a shaky hand on Annata's shoulder and squeezed. Annata looked her way, noting how messy she looked. Her glasses had clearly been ripped off her face, and her hair was flowing around her now. Annata couldn't help but think she looked nice.

"I'm surprised you're admiring me after what you just witnessed, love." Devlyn smirked and winked at her. Annata smirked back.

"At first, I was unsure. I know this isn't legal, but I saw you handle that situation perfectly. My friend needs this. He's spirally out of control, and I'm afraid that this. . . thing could destroy his career." Annata replied sadly.

"When would you like to set up an appointment?"

"As soon as possible." Annata replied, staring at Alessandra's sleeping form. She looked utterly peaceful, and that was all Annata could hope for.

* * *

><p>She slid the door open slowly and stepped into the cold room. The air seemed to change instantly as several heads lifted at her arrival. They weren't glaring at her, but the man she had in tow behind her. He had a dark aura to him that had the occupants of the room with their shoulders a little closer to their ears, and their fingers tapping a little faster at their knees.<p>

She walked through them, ignoring the stares she was receiving. She ignored the repugnant smell of blood and the constant feeling of nausea that overcame her. She had just begun to notice the little indecencies of this place; it made her uneasy, but she couldn't give it up. There was this. . . certainty inside her that became increasingly stronger as the days went by and she kept returning here. The scientist, who had grown to become her friend, had such a sureness about her that sometimes it brought a smile to her face. She had to trust that this would work.

She walked straight up to her friend and offered a hand, acting as if they'd never met. She did not want him to know she had been here before several times. She could tell by the look on his face that he was disgusted, utterly disgusted by this place. He couldn't understand why this was so important; why this could help him.

"This is your friend, correct?" her friend questioned, motioning toward him. She extended a hand to him, smiling slightly. He glanced at it briefly, as if he took it, the world might end.

"Yes, this is Hikaru." She said, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Hikaru meet Devlyn." Hikaru finally raised his hand, but only a short distance. Devlyn caught the apprehension and closed the space, grasping his hand lightly. She shook once, dropping his hand slowly, as not to alarm him. She smiled once more, letting her eyes roam over Hikaru. She observed the dark circles around his eyes indicating his lack of sleep and his obvious discontent with this part of the train.

"Might I ask what you're suffering from, Hikaru?" Devlyn asked, making eye contact with him. He flinched slightly at her question, the memories flooding back into his mind. He looked dazzled, like he'd been transferred to a different world. Devlyn thought for a brief moment he was experiencing an OBE, but he quickly regained his composure.

"Might I have a word with my friend before answering any questions Devlyn?" Hikaru asked, flickering his eyes over to the woman still softly squeezing his shoulder with her hand.

"Of course." Devlyn answered, returning to the work she'd previously been doing.

Hikaru grabbed her wrist, pulling her to what seemed to be a deserted corner of the cart, except for an empty bed. He pushed her up against the wall, placing one hand on the right of her and the other on the left. She was trapped by his body, which seemed to inch closer and closer to her as the seconds rolled by. He stared intensely at her, a mixture of anger and annoyance sweeping across his features.

Hikaru's thoughts were everywhere; he was deeply confused. Why would she take him to a place like this? The moment he walked through the door, he felt sick. The. . . patients in the beds looked dead, like the life had been sucked form their bodies. The scientists in the chairs doing treatments were unnerving, sending brittle chills up his spine. Devlyn looked out of place here; she was too perfect. How could she hold her head up and smile when she worked in a. . . profession like this? There was nothing right about this place.

"Why did you bring me here, Annata!" he screamed, staring straight into her eyes.

She acted calmly, knowing well this was to happen. "You _need _this Hikaru." She glanced quickly at Devlyn, who was staring straight at them with a worried look. She nodded slightly, waiting for a response. Annata shook her head, turning her attention back to Hikaru.

Hikaru seemed to unhinge at that point, like she'd crossed the line. He slammed his hands up against the wall, surprising her. Christ, he wanted to hit something.

"Who the _hell_ are you to tell me what I need! Annata, look at these people. They look like zombies, like they're not in their own skin." He lifted off the wall, freeing her from his trap. He slid his hands through his hair and pointed fiercely in the direction of the patients.

"This is all wrong, Annata! This is unnatural. . .it's all wrong. . . all. . ." he trailed off, his attention seeming to wander. His head dropped to the floor, as if there was something more interesting on the ground. Annata was confused, but she stayed glued to the wall, afraid to move.

Instantaneously, his head shot up, and eyes rested directly on Annata's. But these weren't the same eyes she had just looked upon seconds before; they were filled to the brim with an unnatural craving. . . or was that lust? He began to walk over to her, taking each step slowly. His eyes trailed over her body, memorizing every curve. He licked his lips, a disconcerting smile creeping across his lips.

Devlyn lifted from her seat, calling two of scientists over.

Hikaru finally reached his destination, returning to his previous position. He lifted a hand from the wall and let it slide down her forearm gently. He stared at it for a moment, memorizing the feeling of her skin. Then, he looked up at her noticing the disturbing look on her face; he didn't like that. He took both hands off the wall and placed one around her waste, resting it on the small of her back. He ringed the other through her hair, playing with the strands. He smiled once more, a devious grin that shook Annata's soul. She despised that she wanted him to continue.

He caught her wanting and delved into it, pushing her head towards his with his hand. Their lips crushed together, and Hikaru instantly pulled her closer. The pure lust was enveloping him completely, and although he was fighting it, these alarming emotions were winning. He slipped his hand up her shirt, tracing enticing circles down her spine. Although Hikaru could feel Annata melting, she held her stiff stance, not giving in.

Devlyn was issuing the men to grab Hikaru, but Annata raised a slight hand, giving a negative signal. Devlyn gave her a puzzling look, but Annata just continued to say "no".

Hikaru was growing impatient; Annata was holding off well. He smiled into the kiss, enjoying every second of her withdrawal. He slipped his tongue through her lips and into the wet, cavern of her mouth while he fairly pushed his pelvis upward into hers. He, in turn, received a husky moan from Annata who was struggling to hold back. Hikaru smirked, repeating the action.

Annata, about ready to give in, looked at Devlyn with a glazed over glare. She nodded her head slightly, making it seem as if she wanted to deepen the kiss. Devlyn signaled the two men, and they rushed over grabbing Hikaru by his arms and waist. They ripped him off of Annata and pushed him onto the empty bed. Devlyn looked at Annata once more holding up a syrenge. Annata looked on the verge of tears.

"Do it." She whispered, letting her tears fall.

Devlyn walked over to Hikaru, who was struggling to be released from the men's hold.

"But I _want _her. I _need _her!" He kept screaming, clawing at the men. Devlyn sighed sadly, wiping the sweat from her brow. She put a strong hand on Hikaru's wrist and held it down while she slipped the needle in. She delivered the clear liquid to his veins, and his eyes closed quickly. He was sent to a deep, dreamless sleep. Something he hadn't experienced in months.

Devlyn felt her presence next to her and looked up, meeting Annata's sad stare. She turned away from Hikaru, putting a hand on Annata's arm. She led her away from the bed and lent a listening ear.

"He's asleep now. There's nothing to worry about. It's over." she whispered, spreading her arms for Annata to accept. Annata did, leaning into her and wrapping her arms around her.

"That wasn't Hikaru. That. . ." she stopped, sobbing into Devlyn's shoulder.

"If there is one thing I want to accomplish in this world, it's helping you and your friends. I promise, if it's the last thing I do, to rid your friend of these paranormal occurrences. Annata, I _promise_." Devlyn whispered, her eyes drifting to Hikaru. He looked peaceful, for now. A tear dropped down her cheek, landing on her lips. It's salty taste foreign to her for so long.

"I promise."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Yay, I put up two chapters! I hope you enjoyed. I have somber news. I will again be gone next week. So, you will be receiving two more updates the week after next. **

"_No, n__o __che non è_." - **No, No it isn't**

"_Seguimi__, caro" - _**Follow me, darling**

"_Sonno, Alessandra, Sonno__**" **_**Sleep, Alessandra, Sleep**

**Until Next time my Lovely Readers, **

**Ona**


	8. Chapter 7

**Athena, whoever you are, thank you so much! Your review was very nice, and I will try my best to correct all my grammar mistakes. I can't always send my work to my beta, sadly. I also apologize on a pre note for this coming chapter.**

**Sorry I'm so late. Vacations, vacations. **

**Anyway, thank you so much Athena! You are lovely. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own this anime, nor characters except my own OCs. **

**Italian translation- State of Emergency (Joga by Bjork)**

* * *

><p>Chapter 7- Stato di Emergenza<p>

Kyoya stared at the empty space where Tamaki once stood. Tamaki had left only moments before, but Kyoya couldn't bring himself to rip his eyes away. He hadn't wanted him to go; his jovial attitude brought amiability to the atmosphere as opposed to Kyoya's irascible mannerisms. Tamaki had stayed the entire night salvaging Kyoya's library. They had succeeded in finding absolutely nothing; although, Kyoya was completely at peace with this. Tamaki's presence had made it better, and now Kyoya was regretful for keeping him so long. He could tell Tamaki was tired; he could barely keep his eyes open. Kyoya smiled at the memory of a sleepy- eyed Tamaki. It was quite the sight.

There was a cluttering of what sounded like dishes a floor down.

Kyoya couldn't make himself care. Other than his family, only Tamaki and Kaoru were admitted by security into his home. Kyoya hated to admit it, but he was hopeful it was Tamaki. He didn't have the willpower or the patience to deal with Kaoru. He was truly sorry for giving him misleading information, but there was nothing more he could do for the man.

Kyoya hung his head, ready for a nice, long nap in his chair.

"Kyoya. . ."

Kyoya looked up at where Tamaki had once stood, where a now sweaty, shaking Kaoru barely stood. His knees looked about to buckle, and his eyes were bloodshot from obvious lack of sleep. Kyoya stood, wiping the sleep from his eyes. He took a few slow steps toward Kaoru, but came to a halt when Kaoru lifted his hand as to say "stop right there". An intense silence had fallen across the room, Kyoya's name still hanging in the air.

"I'm sorry to admit my previous accusations were wrong." Kyoya offered, hoping Kaoru would take the apology without fail. He was hoping Kaoru's flustered state was not his doing.

Kaoru looked at him, an odd expression on his face. Remorse maybe?

"I never believed them" he answered, sounding a bit crueler then he intended. Kyoya blinked at his answer, not sure it was a good or bad thing.

"Why are you being so cold?" he asked. Kaoru's eyes increased in size at the answer; he looked guilty.

"It's none of your _concern_." Kaoru spat viciously. Kyoya took a few more steps toward Kaoru, holding out his arms. He wasn't sure why Kaoru was acting this way.

"Kaoru, what happened?"

Kaoru looked taken aback by this question. He even took a few steps back, pushing himself up against a wall.

"Nothing. . . nothing's happened." Kaoru answered, his tone changing ever so slightly. Kyoya caught the lie and urged on.

"Kaoru, why don't you tell me about your night, hm? Did your meeting with Mai end desirably?"

Kaoru's face crumbled at the mention of his customer. Kyoya was afraid he'd go into hysterics.

"Kyoya. . . I. . ." he sobbed, covering his face with his hands. Kyoya sighed; he was never good with crying things. He dropped his arms and approached Kaoru cautiously. He'd hate for another hallucination to attack Kaoru.

"_Kyoya_. . ." he sobbed once more before wiping the tears from his face and looking up at Kyoya, who now only stood a few centimeters away. Kaoru slid his hand over his eyes, wiping the remanding tears.

"NO!" Kaoru screamed, pushing Kyoya away. He wiped his face once more, making sure his eyes weren't deceiving him. Kyoya stumbled backwards, completely bewildered by Kaoru's sudden outburst.

"Hi. . .ka. . ru?" Kaoru stuttered, fear etched across his face.

Dread filled Kyoya when he realized what was happening. Kaoru thought he was Hikaru.

Kaoru pointed a shaky finger at Kyoya and screamed, "What did you do with Kyoya!"

Kaoru's eyesight had become hazy; all he saw at the moment was a blurry image of something evil.

"Kaoru, it's me. _Kyoya_. It's me." Kyoya whispered, trying desperately to regain his balance. Kaoru was having none of it. He shook his head angrily and pushed himself off the wall. He positioned himself in a defensive stance.

"Do you know what you've put me through, Nii-sama? Do. . . you understand that. . .I'm losing my mind?" Kaoru grabbed his head and tilted it to the side as to emphasize his statement.

Kyoya decided to go along with it. Denying the hallucination would only make it worse.

"No, Kaoru. I don't understand. Tell me. Tell me so I can fix it." Kyoya offered quietly, keeping still.

Kaoru seemed lost in thought for a moment, recalling such emotions and moments. Fears and dreams. "You're _everywhere_, Hikaru. You're in my every dream. You're on all the faces I encounter, and you're all I see. You're my reflection. I. . ." he trailed off, giving a longing look to Kyoya. "STOP!" he screamed, his unstable emotions overtaking him. "Stop messing around in my head! Stop trying to be my brother! Just. . . stop _everything_." Kaoru was violently sobbing at that point; his fiery hair matched the color of his skin.

Kyoya stepped forward, believing maybe it was safe. "Kaoru, I'll stop. I'll stop everything." He continued to close the space between them hoping he could manage some sort of mental epiphany for Kaoru. Kaoru didn't say a word; he just stood in the middle of the room looking utterly pitiful in all his sorrow. Kyoya actually wanted to cry; he wanted to cry for this man standing before him.

"I'll stop. I'll stop everything." He repeated, close enough now he could place a gentle hand on Kaoru's tense shoulders.

"DON"T YOU DARE TOUCH ME!"

With all his vigor, Kaoru used two hands to slam into Kyoya's chest, sending him flying across the room toward the bookshelves. Before Kaoru could blink, Kyoya's body had collided forcefully into the hard edge of one of the wooden bookshelves. Kaoru blinked furiously.

And then he vomited.

Kyoya's body had slid slowly down the rectangular edge of the bookshelf. His body had gone limp, and a thick, line of crimson followed the trail of Kyoya's head on the edge of the bookshelf. Kyoya's eyes hanged open, immediate unconsciousness to the impact.

Kaoru had fallen to his knees, and now he was crawling towards Kyoya. He mumbled incoherent things under his breath, and his eyes stung with held back tears. He reached his destination and extended his right hand to Kyoya's face. He placed his palm on his cheek and stared at him, deciding then he would not let himself be the cause of Kyoya's end. He blinked back tears and closed his eyes. He hated seeing Kyoya like this. No one should ever see anyone like this.

He stood abruptly and ran out the library, down the stairs, and to the front door.

* * *

><p>There she stood, in all her excellence. Not a blemish on her face, no expression other than determination written across her features. She wore a blue dress that almost matched the shade of blue mixed into her eyes. It hugged her body tight, leaving no room for imagination.<p>

"I've been looking for you everywhere!" Mai exclaimed, pushing herself into the mansion.

Kaoru look bewildered; he'd opened the door to leave, but there in the doorway was Mai.

"I. . ." Kaoru tried. He knew he must've looked terrible. Salt stains on his cheeks. Puffy eyes. The smell of vomit fresh on his breath.

The moment Mai saw Kaoru, she knew something was amiss. She remembered quickly how his expressions cycled when he slapped her. She wasn't offended, knowing it was the effect of hallucination. But she would not let him run away from this, whatever that may be.

"I went to the Host Club, and no one has seen either you or Kyoya today, and it is very unlike Kyoya to be tardy for work." Mai said, slowly sauntering throughout the foyer. Kaoru knew she was perceptive; she would keep pressing until he gave way. Just the mention of his name made multiple tears fall from his eyes. He was a guilty man.

"You didn't hurt somebody else did you?" Mai asked, a malicious tone lacing her voice. She stopped midway into the foyer and turned about facing Kaoru. Then, she dropped her nonchalant attitude and hurried toward Kaoru. A new stream of tears laced his face at the mention of his name.

"Kaoru, _what happened_?" Mai yelled, grasping Kaoru at his shoulders. She would _not_ let him run away. Kaoru looked up at her, silence filling the room.

That was all the answer she needed.

Mai bolted up the stairs, catching Kaoru glimpse upstairs when she questioned him. She ran to the right of her, not sure which direction to go. Kyoya's house was huge, to say the least. Although, it wasn't too hard to find the scene; Kaoru's trail was full of broken lamps, fallen portraits, and disheveled tapestries.

When Mai reached the wide-open, double doors of Kyoya's private library, she covered her mouth with both her hands to dampen her scream.

First her eyes went to the scattered books on the floor, and then they noticed splutters of red on some of the books. And then she saw his body, leaned against the side of a bookshelf. He looked lifeless, like his soul had fluttered out of his body. His eyes were open, dead and emotionless, and they seemed to stare directly into her. There was blood mixed into the curls and strands of his dark hair, and raindrops of crimson showering from the midspace of the bookshelf to where Kyoya's head lay.

Mai sank to her knees, the shock overtaking her. _What had he done?_

Suddenly, she felt a pair of arms wrap around her and pull her out the room. "You shouldn't see him like this." She heard Kaoru whisper, while pulling her from the room. She ended up on her knees outside the room, with Kaoru standing over her, a guilty expression on his face.

"_Kaoru, call the police __**now**_**." **Mai said, while she stood. She put a strong hand on Kaoru's chest and pushed him a bit.

"Doesn't he have trained paramedics or something! Call them!" Mai screamed in a flutter, her face turning red.

"I don't know! I don't know! Kyoya keeps to himself. . ." Kaoru muttered, his breathing becoming intense. Mai stared at him a moment, unbelieving. She shook her head and inched closer.

"I'm calling the police, Kaoru. And I'm going to the hospital with him. You call Tamaki, and you tell him what has happened here." Mai whispered, tears streaming down her face. "But _you_, you stay here. Stay here and clean up your mess!"

It took the paramedics seven minutes to arrive. And in those seven minutes, Kaoru sat next to Kyoya's unconscious form and sobbed violently. Mai watched them, the panic leaving her system when she realized there was nothing much she could do. So, she stared sadly as Kaoru screamed apologies between earth- rattling sobs.

Kaoru didn't fight when the paramedics ripped Kyoya's body away from him and placed him on a stretcher. He watched as they carried him out of the room, farther and farther away from him. Mai trailed behind them, until they reached the ambulance. Kaoru listened as the constant stream of flashing lights and the screech of sirens became a distant anomaly.

Kaoru stayed seated for a moment and tried hysterically to recall the events of the night, but his memories only made him frantic and panic-stricken. He leaned his head to the right and stared at the bloody stain on the bookshelf. He could smell the ghastly odor; it smelled like death. He couldn't bear it any longer. He stood and walked out of the room, closing the doors behind him. He made his way down the stairs and sat on the couch where he'd slept when he first stayed the night at Kyoya's. It didn't bring back good times.

The house was disturbingly quiet; the silence was suffocating Kaoru. He cried himself dry, and now there was no sound to occupy the hungry echo of the house. Kaoru reached in his pocket and pulled out his cell phone with shaky hands. He did not want to call Tamaki, but he knew Tamaki was Kyoya's closest friend. He knew the words he were about to speak would break the man's heart.

"Hello?" came Tamaki's happy voice. It sung beautifully, and Kaoru's eyes watered at the joyful sound.

"Tamaki. . ." Kaoru muttered sadly.

"Kaoru! Is that you? I haven't heard from you in a while. Kyoya tells me you work for him now?" Tamaki engaged, not understanding the point of the call.

"Tamaki. . ."

"Come to think of it, it's really early. Are you alright? I didn't know you were an early bird."

"Tamaki. . ."

". . .really need to get together. There's so much. . ."

"I think I killed Kyoya!" Kaoru screamed, hating the way it tasted on his tongue. Tamaki fell silent; Kaoru could hear his stuttering breaths go in and out.

"Let me talk to him, Kaoru. He can't be. . ."

"Tamaki, Kyoya's in the hospital. You can't talk to him right now."

"Just let me talk to him! I was there. He was there. It was fine. IT IS FINE!" Tamaki sobbed, dropping the phone to the floor, his knees not far behind. Tears fell down Kaoru's cheeks as he heard Tamaki's cries.

"Tamaki, go to the hospital. I. . . I'm sorry. I killed him." It was on the last words that Kaoru's voice cracked and his resolve was utterly broken. He threw the phone at the nearest walls, it shattered into pieces with a horrible, cracking noise. Like the sound Kyoya's cranium made when it hit the edge of the bookshelf. Kaoru cried out, cursing the gods. He flailed his arms around and ripped the seat cushions. A mad rage had taken over.

"That will do _nothing_, Kaoru, and you know it."

A tense silence fell across the dark house as Kaoru turned around and fell off the couch in disbelief. _Not now. Not now._

Hikaru knelt down, putting a cold hand on Kaoru's cheek. He let his fingers slide across his cheek and trail down his neckline. He met eyes with his mirror image once more.

"You didn't mean anything, Kaoru. There was nothing you could've done. Sorry for my interruption." _Sorry?_ Kaoru sweltered and grabbed Hikaru by the neck, squeezing tightly.

"You did this, Nii-sama." Kaoru squeezed tighter, feeling Hikaru's veins pop out.

Suddenly, a cheerful laughter filled the air. A cold, nasty laughter.

"You can't kill something that isn't real, Kaoru. You are quite dull, darling." Hikaru mused, disappearing from Kaoru's grip. Kaoru's fingernails dug into the palm of his hand as Hikaru's presence became unknown. Kaoru howled in agony; his fingernails bit into his skin causing droplets of blood to crash over his palms.

"_Poor child_. You're only hurting yourself, love." It's voice echoed across the room; although, it's body was nowhere in sight. Kaoru was reluctant to admit that he was right in every sense. From the moment Hikaru invaded his thoughts, Kaoru not only hurt himself, but the people closest to him. He wouldn't let that go on, especially after Kyoya. Kyoya did not deserve what happened to him. He was just trying to help.

And he'd killed him.

"You know what you have to do. You know where to find me, Kaoru."

Kaoru fell to his knees and glared at the white of the high ceiling. He closed his eyes and screamed one last time.

He had to see his brother.

Now.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: Please, please do not kill me for this chapter. You have yet to read the rest. **_

_** I will try my best to get the next few chapters out as fast as I can. **_

_** Until next time, **_

_** Ona**_


	9. Chapter 8

**Happy Holidays, Here's a new chapter. Thank you to those who are sticking with me and with this story! I apologize for the wait for the update, but I will update next week. **

**Enjoy. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own this anime, nor characters except my own OC's. **

Italian Translation: Adagio For Strings (Composed by Samuel Barber)

Chapter 8- _Adagio Per Le Corde_

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><p>A particularly sharp turn caused the brush to veer out of its lane and onto the forbidden grounds of Kaoru's painted face. Hikaru cursed softly and stepped back to observe the damage he'd done. A bold, black line of oil-based paint stretched across <em>his<em> forlorn eyes. Hikaru stared up at the painting and cringed; that one small mistake made _his_ eyes look darker than natural. The painting was one of sorrow, and the black line made the eyes look sunken in and desolate. Hikaru sighed, wiping the sweat from his brow. Soon, his sighs turned into screams as he ripped at the canvas of the wall with his fingernails burned into the wet paint. He growled and scratched at the portrait.

The other occupants of the room just stared at the poor boy, each of them daring themselves to help. But they stared with pitiful indifference and resumed their work. They expected it because it was the fifth time it'd happened that day.

When his frantic state had died and he was just a ball of self-rage, Devlyn walked to his side and offered a hand. He didn't accept. She circled around him and glared at the walls of the cart. There were six or seven canvases stuck on the wall, filling the cart with color. Each canvas held the face and body of Hikaru. _Why would you. . .?_ Devlyn stopped herself and realized who this was plastered on her walls.

"He is beautiful." She muttered, "Just like you." She knew this was the wrong thing to say, in every sense, but his rage need be directed to her rather than his work. She didn't mind being the person he hated, if it unlocked the demons inside him.

To her surprise, he laughed. It was a loud, harsh cackle that rang through her ears. His voice was so close that her skin became prickly. He stood with her. Staring. Remembering.

"Yes, he is." He choked out, his voice laced with a thick bitterness. She turned to him and stared at his shaking stature; he looked _so_ angry. Devlyn never thought she'd seen him look so small, so fragile. She was afraid to touch him, thinking if she did, he might shatter into a million pieces. She sighed and bit her lip, weighing her options.

"I know what's wrong with you, Hikaru." Devlyn whispered softly. She could hear the guilt lacing her voice.

Hikaru flinched in surprise at the unexpected confession, but kept his eyes on his painting. He didn't say a word, and Devlyn didn't take the silence lightly. Hikaru could hear Devlyn's heels clicking away as she distanced herself, while he wondered why she was leaving.

"Where are you going?"

The noise subsided, and Hikaru knew she had stopped at his question. Uncertainty rattled through her fingers as she turned toward him slowly. Her eyes rested carefully on his, and Hikaru could feel her invading his personal thoughts. He let her.

"Are you sure you want to know?"

Devlyn reached a hand toward him but stopped when she heard the door of the cart slide open. A wave of tense air overtook the atmosphere, and the other scientists stopped their work to look up at who had entered. Devlyn pivoted around and smiled, something she hadn't done in ages.

Annata stepped into view and smiled at Devlyn who kindly returned the gesture. She wrapped her arms around the other woman, and they relished in each other's embrace before exchanging a few words of greeting. Before Devlyn could lead Annata away, _their_ eyes had met, and Devlyn felt Annata tense in her arms. She turned to Hikaru, and his eyes emitted guilt. Weariness flooded over him the next second, and the only word Develyn could think to describe the way Hikaru's body slouched was defeat.

"Hikaru. . ."

"Devlyn here was just telling me what she thinks is _wrong_ with me. I would very much like to know. Please, continue Develyn." Hikaru said, turning his back to Annata. He didn't have the strength to face her. Develyn gave Annata a knowing look before returning to Hikaru's side. Annata stayed put; she couldn't miss this moment.

"I need to tell you what's wrong, Hikaru, but not here with all these. . ." Devlyn eyes quickly flickered to Annata, ". . . distractions."

Hikaru understood instantly and gave Devlyn an appreciative curl of his lips before walking past Annata and out the compartment door. Devlyn made her way to Annata and placed a soft hand on her shoulder.

"We're going for a walk. You probably shouldn't be here when we get back." Devlyn flashed a small smile, skirting past Annata before she could get an answer. She missed Annata's slight nod of understanding.

Devlyn found Hikaru standing outside the cabin in the small, lit area between carts. She whispered "follow me" before walking from the back of the train to the front. She stopped with Hikaru in tow at the door separating them from the Engineers. She gave two knocks and turned to Hikaru.

"_Aspetta qui._ Wait here." The door slid open, and she disappeared into darkness.

After a few moments, the train suddenly halted, almost causing Hikaru to topple over. A brief announcement was made over the intercom, and Devlyn appeared in sight. Devlyn smiled at Hikaru, motioning for him to follow her off the train. They walked off the train into a small station with barely any people. It was just them and the workers. Hikaru was secretly content with the isolation of the area, because he honestly, wasn't sure if the conversation to come could push him from reality.

Hikaru and Devlyn walked along the tracks, glancing behind their back every few seconds to see if there was a train. They walked in silence for a few moments. They were both contemplating what to say and how to say it.

"How'd you stop the train?" Hikaru whispered. Devlyn was slightly thrown off by the simplistic topic of the question. She was sure the first words from his mouth would be complicated.

"Uh, I have. . . clearance I suppose with the engineers. Because of the nature of my line of work, the engineers are aware of my needs. If stopping the train happens to be one of them, then they happily oblige."

Hikaru pondered this for a moment, his eyes searching for the clouds. "I see, and how did you start this business of yours?

Devlyn stopped in her tracks and looked directly at Hikaru, although his eyes were elsewhere. She hadn't had the chance of telling this story in years, because no one cared to ask. It wasn't a secret, what she did, but it wasn't necessarily out in the open either.

"I was offered a business deal wi-"

"No, let me rephrase that. _Why_ did you start this business?"

Devlyn continued her walking, not looking back to see if Hikaru had as well. She'd never really been asked that question. People tended to shy away from her once they saw what she did.

"You really want to know my story?" she asked, confused.

"Yes, Devlyn. You know mine, tell me yours."

She pondered silently for a bit and formulated her story. And then she began to tell.

"My mother was diagnosed with schizophrenia when she was fourteen years old. My grandmother attained her the appropriate treatment and medication, and soon doctors and psychologists deemed her able to live without the supervision of a nurse, as long as she had family. For the better part of her young adulthood, she lived happily under the care of my grandmother and her sister. She was able to attend university, and soon she fell in love. She married my father, and it was only custom they have children. She birthed me and my younger sister, Ariana. We were left mostly in the care of my father, due to my mother's condition, but we loved her all the same.

I eventually left home in order to obtain my doctorate in psychology and neurology. My sister and I were four years apart, so she was just starting high school as I began attending university. All was well, and I called home at least twice a week to check on mother. She seemed fine, always fine. Always healthy. Until. . ."

Devlyn stopped, both in her tracks and in her speech. She looked behind her, catching Hikaru's curious eyes. She sighed and decided to pick a spot along the track to sit. A few feet ahead of them, a small clearing of gravel lie next to the tracks. She hurriedly walked to the spot and sat in a comfortable position on the ground. She waited patiently until Hikaru joined her before continuing.

"I received a phone call from her the day I was supposed to be coming home for the holidays. She talked normally and her breathing was normal, but something seemed off. I can never remember what it was I noticed, but I do remember the sickening feeling it gave me. So, I made haste in returning home. I was sure I was overreacting and nothing could possibly have gone wrong." Devlyn's eyes went to the ground, not from the tears that shed there, but from the undeniable shame she possessed from reliving this story.

"I came home, only to find my sister dead, my mother wielding the weapon, and my father nowhere to be found."

Hikaru couldn't help but look up at that point, but Devlyn's eyes never left the ground. She was shaking with sobs, but Hikaru couldn't bring himself to wrap his arms around her. That would only make her angry. So, he let her cry until she couldn't cry any longer. When she regained her composure, she wiped herself dry and realized she hadn't finished the story. No matter how strong her feelings were, she would not let them get the best of her.

"My mother was put into a mental institution, and my father still has yet to be found. I gave my sister a proper burial and continued on to receive both doctorates. After graduation, I was approached by a businessman who'd seen my more than admirable application. He asked me to be a part of an advanced psychology program based in Italy, dealing only with severe cases of mental illness. I accepted and was admitted into the program, where I worked on a series of cases, several of which dealing with patients with schizophrenia. With the help of that program, my colleagues and I created a synthetic drug that could be injected into the bloodstream to create new cells in the brain. Basically, we developed the cure to schizophrenia and several other mental disorders. However, when we tried to present the cure to the businessman, he threatened to terminate the program if the cure ever got out. He admitted to us the illegality of the project, and we realized we had no way out.

Under these circumstances, my colleagues and I decided the best way to distribute the cure was through secrecy. Thus, the train. We were able to cure several patients, but eventually, the problems grew deeper. Along with the cases dealing with mental disorders came the cases dealing with strange matters. Paranormal happenings such as out of body experiences and paralysis began coming our way. It got to a point where were unable to deny what we were doing: Curing paranormal diseases. Now, it's become one of the only cases that wind up on my desk."

Devlyn leaned back into her body and stifled a sigh, seemingly finished with her story. Hikaru regarded her thoughtfully, drinking her in. He knew not to say anything after a story that detailed, so he quietly watched her. A mutual silence surrounded them, as they listened to each other's steady breathing and the crackling of the tracks as trains flew by.

* * *

><p>"How long until the train comes for us?"<p>

Devlyn shifted in her position on the gravel floor of nature. She seemed contemplative, but Hikaru soon realized she was only counting in her head.

"We've been talking for maybe an hour and a half, so. . ." The look crossed her face again.

"Another hour or so."

They crossed into silence yet again, and the time seemed to slow as Hikaru observed Devlyn. He'd never truly gotten to understand her, especially with his constant anger. He looked onto her with an understanding eye now. Her past was only the half of it. Looking at her now, he could see the small things that made her who she was.

"Are you Dyslexic?" Hikaru asked after a long, fifteen minutes of silence.

She looked at him with a strange look, a mixture of surprise and expectancy, as if she knew he would ask.

"Yes. Is it that obvious?"

"Your great intuition and intelligence caught me first. Then I noticed you would always get a headache after reading one of your colleague's reports. But what really gave you away was while you were telling me your story, sometimes, I almost felt as if you weren't there."

Devlyn smiled, even laughed a little. "So, incredibly obvious?"

"No, I'm just. . . good at seeing the finer details." Hikaru almost cracked a smile, remembering the way his brother always wondered how he knew his every move.

His brother. _Kaoru_.

Hikaru stood, surprising Devlyn as he wiped the dirt from his jeans. Devlyn, slightly confused, picked herself up from the ground. She began to protest to their standing position, but Hikaru finally allowed his eyes to meet hers.

Oh.

"Keep your ears sharp." Devlyn began to walk back the way they came, expecting Hikaru to follow. He did.

"Have you ever heard the term Astral Projection?" She didn't look back, nor did she wait for an answer.

"Almost everyone in their lifetime experiences one unexpectedly. Many believe it's another dream, because sometimes, it's barely remembered. Hikaru, have you ever opened your eyes and you feel like your floating above your own body?"

She glanced back and caught his slight nod. "That is an Astral Projection."

"It's basically when your soul separates from your body during sleep, leaving your soul able to roam free of boundaries. The term comes from the belief in the afterlife. Your "astral body" is your soul leaving your physical body to ascend into Heaven. In several cases, during very deep sleep, one is able to completely disconnect their astral body from their physical body. This is usually only done unconsciously and never in succession, but-"

"Kaoru and I are the exception." Hikaru interrupted, his curious mind overtaking his thoughts.

"Yes, I'm afraid the both of you are. This might seem hard to understand, but it has always been said that twins, especially identical, have a very strong, spiritual connection. I can only assume that because of your intimacy with your brother, your spiritual connection has grown incredibly powerful. It seems that both of you are able to separate your astral and physical bodies during sleep and travel along the astral plane." Devlyn paused and contemplated how to formulate her words.

"The astral plane is almost like limbo. It's the area between death and dreams. It's strange because you and your brother's need for each other have almost reset the rules of the astral plane."

"How so?"

"It has _never_ been said that one astral body can posses another. Yes, there are ghosts and spirits and such, but one astral body cannot possess another. But your astral body and his are the only I've seen to accomplish possession."

"Wait, you cannot say that my brother and I are possessing each other! We have no control, neither of us. Possession at least holds some sort of control!" Hikaru spat as he tried desperately to understand what Devlyn was telling him.

"Yes, that's why it's so strange, Hikaru! I can only explain half of the phenomenon. The voices, the hallucinations, the shift in emotion—_that_ is a part of the astral physics. But not everything else! The. . . evil that has seeped into you and your brother is completely unknown to me, Hikaru. And I am so sorry, because I cannot explain that to you. It is beyond my knowledge." Devlyn almost wanted to cry again, having to admit that she did not have all the answers.

"So, you don't know." It wasn't a question, but a snarled statement.

Devlyn couldn't bring herself to look back; she couldn't look into those eyes, not now.

"It's so strange, Hikaru. It's as if a third body is controlling you two. Something, _someone_ evil is controlling you and your brother, Hikaru. Do you understand, Hikaru? Something is controlling you. Do you understand!" No answer. She couldn't look back.

"Do you understand, Hikaru!" Devlyn shouted the inquiry once more, but again she received no answer. And then she began to notice. After his last statement, the quiet sounds of his shoes hitting the gravel had disappeared, along with his frantic breathing as she told him what she knew.

She couldn't look back, for she was afraid of what she might find.

She began to feel the sickening feeling of panic at the bottom of her stomach as she turned around to face nothing but the nature in the distance. She cried out at that point. She screamed his name over and over again, running up and down the tracks until she couldn't run any longer. But yet again, she received no answer but the crackling of the train tracks as a train flew by.

Hikaru was gone.


End file.
